


Love in the Ruins

by VioletteMoon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Rating May Change, Romantic Friendship, Soft Zuko (Avatar), falling for each other while still in relationships, honestly soft kiatara too, it will be pretty explicit, just a zutara shipper's rendition of what happened after the war, let's pretend the comics didnt happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26517199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletteMoon/pseuds/VioletteMoon
Summary: The friend (of sorts) Zuko was easily most intimidated by turns out to be the one he becomes closest to over time. Taking a direct strike of lightening (courtesy of his dear sister) definitely helped in that regard.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 50





	1. An Unforeseen Development

Fire Lord Zuko inhaled, then exhaled a breath equally as sharp. He couldn’t pinpoint the last time he’d availed _so much_ of himself to suppress the rage that was mounting within.

This might’ve been the only time, in truth.

The culprits were _those eyes_. Pools of tawny-brown held him captive, and they belonged to a face he could comfortably call beautiful, even as its resting expression was one of dispassion.

 _You’re so beautiful when you hate the world._ He’d said that to her once.

Now, Mai looked somewhat ailed. There was the smallest of furrows in her brow. Zuko knew her well enough to assimilate that she was dissenting from what he had said to her.

“That doesn’t sound like you,” Mai finally got out.

Zuko didn’t want to shout at her. He didn’t want to lose his temper, but, more oft than not it was unavoidable. The Fire Lord bit the inside of his cheek, vexed.

“Well you’ve never seen me when I’m not beneath the thumb of my father.” It was the truth. This was their first interaction since Zuko’s coronation, which had been a day before. “Maybe this _is_ what I’m like now.”

Mai’s countenance remained mostly unchanged, yet she did seem to be taking that in. “Maybe it is,” she said in reply.

Zuko had invited Mai to the royal palace— _his_ palace now— for breakfast. Fruit pies, rice porridge and cups of lychee tea for them both. The comestibles were set out and arranged in the dining area of his terrace.

Zuko was currently briefing Mai on what his plans were to rule his nation.

“You look displeased,” the young Fire Lord commented.

Mai’s tenuous fingers encircled her teacup and raised it to her mouth. “It’s just strange,” she said after a thoughtful swallow of the hot beverage. “To hear this from you. I thought we all wanted the sane thing. The Fire Lords that preceded you— Your father, Fire Lord Azulon and Fire Lord Sozin, they’ve all wanted—”

“Tyranny and world domination,” Zuko finished in one succinct breath. He drew in some lychee tea as well.

Mai sighed. “I guess that isn’t how I see it.” She looked at him closely. “The Fire Nation’s superior, there’s no denying that. is it not unfortunates that the other nations aren’t on our level? Come on, Zuko. You don’t need to be a tyrant to want to share that with the world.”

Though Mai’s statement never lost its levelled volume, Zuko frowned. The ire that was lodged in his chest grew broad. Mai must’ve noticed because she reached for her boyfriend’s calloused hand. 

“You support the precise way of life I’m trying to eliminate.” Zuko glared at her.

Mai challenged him by glaring right back. “You can’t blame me for having faith in our country.” She relinquished her hold on his hand. Zuko thought it peculiar to hear she had faith in _anything_. “We’re both indigenous to the Fire Nation. Remember that.”

“I _do_ remember that,” Zuko said caustically. “Loving our country doesn’t have to mean controlling the other nations. The Avatar just ended the war.”

Mai sighed a second time and rested her cheek against her palm. “I’m no war-advocate, but it is a lot less boring than peace.” She was attempting to mollify him with a faint smile, but that was of no effect.

“You sound like one to me,” Zuko maligned her, attention replanting on his not-yet-completed breakfast. He was becoming more wroth as the seconds stretched on.

Mai looked of equal parts angry and hurt. It reminded Zuko of their previous altercation at the Boiling Rock prison. “I should probably go,” she said after an elongated pause. Zuko kept his silence. He feared that, if he spoke, he would cave.

“Thanks for inviting me over, Fire Lord Zuko.” The formality in Mai’s tone was acerbic.

Golden eyes affixed themselves to his tray of food. Amid everything, he knew he still cared for her a great deal.

“Yeah, thanks for coming.”

\--

Mai took her leave thereafter and Zuko was more dejected by that than he’d like to admit. Immediately, he slipped out of his quarters, keeping up an impassive (yet slightly disgruntled) demeanor while he strode through corridor after corridor of the enormous building. Zuko had no destination, at least not a conscious one. He merely craved respite from the lord’s chamber, which had become unbearably stuffy and arid.

The Fire Lord ceased walking upon coming to the guest quarters of his palace. It housed those that were temporarily staying there after his coronation. The Avatar’s bedchamber was the largest and located at the very back, though Zuko knew Aang was meeting with the Fire Sages and not available to talk to, unfortunately.

He was undoubtedly the one Zuko felt closest to among his new circle of friends.

In the center of the row of guest chambers, there was an open, communal lounge. It had ample places to sit, as well as several large windows lining the walls. Posed at one of the windows was a female. Her back being turned was not enough to prevent Zuko from identifying her; The shade of her skin and hair, and the slenderness of her body, was telling.

Just as Zuko stepped into the lounge chamber, the female waterbender shifted to an about-face position on the floor. Seeing the Fire Lord pulled an instant smile to her lips.

“Fire Lord Zuko,” Katara greeted him respectfully. Zuko knew the title befitted his rank, thpigh it still sounded unfamiliar to him, especially when uttered by someone who hadn’t used honorifics on him before.

“Hey, Katara,” Zuko said back. “You don’t need to address me so formally.” It was true she was his friend, but Zuko admittedly still felt on-edge around her. He suspected Katara didn’t like him as much as the others. “Actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“But you’re the Fire Lord, and I’m just a lowly peasant, remember?”

This was one of those times Zuko was unable to discern if she was rehashing past events to agitate him, or if she was kidding around.

“Your status doesn’t matter to me anymore.” Zuko looked away, feeling abashed. “But I’m still sorry for how I treated you all in the past. Believe me, I am.”

Katara visibly softened. She must’ve caught onto how she had made him feel. ”Oh, Zuko…” She straightened from leaning against one of the windows. “I was only teasing. You don’t need to worry.” She peered at him, her smile not faltering once.

“I know you’re not the guy you used to be.”

It was heartening to hear. There was a moment wherein Zuko had almost forgotten what originally compelled him to this part of the palace.

Almost, though not completely.

“Thank you for saying that,” Zuko said, his voice low. He was looking at her again. Orbs of gold stared into much larger, bluer ones. He thought them similar to the color of the ocean.

“Thank you for being worth it.” The affable way Katara spoke seemed to not require effort. She was altruistic, nurturing, and yet ruthless when she had to be. Zuko had witnessed these characteristics firsthand.

“This isn’t to say I’m not happy to see you, Zuko. But…” Katara tilted her head a little to the side. “Is there a reason you’re here? You look upset. More so than usual, I mean.”

Zuko was unprepared for her to read him so simply.

“Where is everyone else?” He decided to circumvent tne invasive question. “I know you guys tend to travel in a pack.”

“You guys…” Katara pronounced the syllables as her oceanic orbs, flecked with dismay, locked onto Zuko’s. Her gaze did not yield. “Zuko, we’ve passed this. You’re a part of our friend group,” Katara said in reassurance. “We’ve all already accepted you.”

Zuko was momentarily silent. He eyed Katara steadily as he said, “Aang defeated my father.” He sat himself upon an unholstered bench that was beneath one of the windows. “It’s no longer crucial for us to continue training.”

Katara exhaled. She lowered down beside him without any sort of preamble. “Teaching Aang isn’t all you’re good for, y’know.” She laid a hand on the firebender’s arm. “You’re our friend. And we have time to become much closer. The foundation’s already there.”

Zuko let her words register in his mind. The validation was certainly gratifying, and even more so when it was from the one person Zuko was most concerned with pleasing. “Thank you, Katara.” He meant it. “I always kinda thought you were still harboring hatred for me.”

Him confessing that made Katara pause. She shook her head and looked at him in a gentle way. “No. I definitely don’t hate you.” Zuko felt her squeeze his arm before letting go.

“I don’t hate you either.” He never had, even when his main ambition was hunting Aang. Back then, Katara had just been a means to an end. Now, a friendship (if ever a precarious one) had blossomed.

Katara seemed sincere when she said, “I’m glad.”

The two sat in silence for a time. Zuko moved just his eyes to the window that was across from them. The sun was now obscured behind clouds, making outside look a little less vibrant.

“Don’t you think I forgot what I asked earlier.” Katara speaking clove through the quiet that had taken hold. “I’ll try again. Is something wrong?”

Zuko kept his eyes plastered to the window. Katara was a tenacious one. Seldom did she let things go when she wanted to know the answer. He knew it was pointless to continue to evade this.

“There’s always something wrong,” Zuko eventually muttered, his voice completely deadpan. Katara couldn’t help but expel laughter.

“Then you should probably spend more time with your friends, o great Fire Lord,” she quipped. Looking was not needed to know she was amused.

“That’s why I’m here.” Zuko told her only a half-truth, though, after some thinking, he concluded that he’d need to _tell her things_ if he wanted to better their relationship.

“You were… right when you intuited that something’s wrong.” The revelation came after time had passed. Zuko averted his eyes from her.

“You’re not the most talented at hiding your emotions,” Katara pointed out, tittering quietly.

Zuko opted not to address that. Katara was not the first person to make that deduction.

“I had a disagreement with Mai,” he said gruffly.

“Oh, I didn’t even know you guys were together again.” Katara brushed a fall of brunette hair from her eyes. On that forenoon, the locks were free of any styling and were clearly defiant.

“Yeah, we are.”

“That’s good,” Katara said in her effortlessly kind manner. “Risa told me that, when they were in prison together, you were basically all Mai talked about.”

Zuko allowed the information to penetrate his mind. He knew Risa as that Kyoshi Warrior Mai and Ty Lee both became closest to after their imprisonment by Azula. It was weird to imagine them as part of a different trio.

“She must care for you a lot,” Katara was saying, like that wasn’t obvious. Mai went against someone formidable like his sister solely to save him. That was a declaration of love if Zuko had ever witnessed one.

And of course the feeling was requited.

“She does,” he muttered to confirm it was indeed true. Katara shifted on the bench, allotting the firebender one whiff of that floral emollient he knew she was very fond of. He’d espied her applying it more than once and it always left her skin with this certain glow.

“…I’m unsure though.” Zuko had to force his thoughts back on Mai. “I saw Mai this morning and— Well, before, our ideals on the future of the Fire Nation, as well as the rest of the world, were pretty much aligned,” Zuko said. “But now, our opinions are differing and—”

“Remember you’ve changed,” Katara supplied. Her blue eyes bore into him intently. “It makes sense that she’s not familiar with this side of you, right?” Her fingers sat atop his velvet-clad shoulder. As a reflex, Zuko stiffened.

“But even before my banishment. I was always… I suppose I was more inclined toward the idea of a balanced world. War wasn’t something I completely supported.” Zuko briefly thought on all those times he’d clashed with his father because he disagreed with his authoritarian way of doing things.

“You’ve always had good in you,“ Katara brought to his attention. She truly was adept at recouping moods, just like his uncle was.

“Again, thank you for saying that.” Zuko bowed his head and cracked just the wraith of a smile.

Katara said nothing, though affection emitted was quite palpable. Zuko felt an odd tightening in his chest.

“But I’m still unsure,” he reiterated as a means to segue to his earlier point, before Katara had, without trying, made him feel inexplicably warm.

“Mai has been constant all throughout my younger years. She was Azula’s childhood friend.” Zuko breathed in through his nostrils. Despite the questionable choice of company, he knew Mai was not a bad person.

“Surely she knew I had the potential to be good.” Zuko said it more to assure himself than anyone else. “That’s why it bothers me that she’s acting as if what I’m saying is just… unheard of.”

Katara’s fingers hadn’t yet abandoned their place on his shoulder. Zuko’s appreciation wasn’t verbalized, but he felt it.

“What did you say to her?” asked the girl sat next to him.

Zuko kept his head bowed. “Basically an overview of how I plan to run this nation now that I’m the Fire Lord.” It was a fact Zuko still had to get accustomed to. He was _Fire Lord_ now. He’d known this outcome would eventually be attained, yet that did naught for his confoundment about it.

“I’m no expert on the intricacies of a relationship. I can’t tell you what you should do.” Katara took a few seconds to come up with another thing to say. “Maybe your feelings for each other will be what overrides this… difficulty you’re going through.”

“Maybe they will be,” he agreed after mulling it over. Katara’s prediction seemed viable enough. “Looks like you’re pretty knowledgeable about relationships after all.”

Katara grinned some. “You give me too much credit.” The modesty she expressed was merely a façade. Zuko chuckled. He noticed the dusting of pink that rapidly splattered onto Katara’s cheeks as she demurely stated that Aang was her first and only boyfriend.

Zuko wagered that was the first time she’d admitted it aloud. “Didn’t you have something with Jet?” he asked.

That was when Katara’s face changed. Her blush promptly vacated her cheeks and she just seemed perturbed. “I don’t want to talk about Jet,” she said.

Zuko instantly sobered. The playful moment between them had passed. “Sorry.” He watched all the nameless emotions that flickered across his companion’s face.

“I can’t think about Jet without remembering… you know, losing him at Ba Sing Se...” Katara’s eyes were downcast like she was reliving it.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up.” Zuko apologized yet again.

“Zuko…” Katara spoke his name softly, catching him off his guard when she japed, “Is saying ‘sorry’ all you’re good at?”

It was Zuko’s turn to blush. “I just—” He swallowed and pushed his tongue into his inner cheek. “I guess being around you humbles me.” The redness in his cheeks abated, though it didn’t leave in entirety.

Katara nudged his shoulder with her bare one. Her gown was sleeveless (with slashes around its waist) to combat the oppressively hot climate of the Fire Nation. “it really is impressive how much you’ve changed,” Katara remarked honestly. “You’ve come so far from that spoiled and angry prince whose sole joy was chasing us around the world.”

Receiving such genuine commandment, from Katara in particular, was nice. Zuko felt a smile bleed onto his face.

“Back in those days, I believed my father was the one who’d have to restore my honor.”

Katara too smiled and gave her head a shake. “Lo and behold, you ended up restoring your _own_ honor.” She looked amazed, and even a little proud?

It was despicable that he remembered Azula in that moment. Namely, her saying something along those lines after his legendary betrayal at Ba Sing Se. He had voiced his insecurities about their father not restoring his honor, and Azula had responded by assuring Zuko that there was no need, since he’d done that himself. Now, he understood that she had been trying to manipulate him.

Katara saying it was bounds more heartfelt.

“It means so much to hear that from you.” Zuko found the will to look into her eyes while the words rolled out of him. “For so long, all I wanted was to be with my family. I thought that was the most important thing, but my family… They’re really kind of screwed up, aren’t they?”

Fire Lord Zuko released a humorless chuckle.

“Your uncle is lovely,” Katara said. “Azula is… well, she’s _Azula._ Your father will be spending his life in a cell, thanks to Aang. And your mother…” The look Katara wore was one of questioning.

“Where is your mother?”

Zuko closed his eyes, breathing pensively. He had wondered about it himself more times than he could count.

“Allegedly, she was banished.”

“Banished?” Katara’s lips fell slightly apart. “Why would she be… banished?”

Zuko’s eyelids lifted again. “Back when my grandfather was still Fire Lord, my father… He had wanted to usurp my uncle’s birthright as firstborn son and become Fire Lord himself.”

“Of course he did.” Nothing in Katara’s expression denoted surprise.

“My parents devised this terrible plot that forcibly _removed_ my grandfather from the picture and Father was free to ascend the throne in place of my uncle.”Zuko watched the gears work over Katara’s swarthy face.

“So, together, they… they _killed_ your grandfather?” She had successfully put that implicit truth together, though she was having trouble believing it. “Spirits, that’s awful,” she breathed out.

“I’m so sorry, Zuko.”

Z8ko simply gave her a look to show that he accepted, and appreciated, her sympathies.

“But why did your uncle not do anything to stop it?” Katara blinked, perplexed.

“He was too preoccupied with mourning the very-recent death of his son,” Zuko said. He frowned as he remembered discovering what had happened to Cousin Lu Ten on the battlefield.

“Father saw it as the opportune moment to seize the throne for himself.” Zuko continued his explanation. “His first act as Fire Lord was banishing my mother for her crimes.” Zuko knew the bitterness was plainly displayed on his face. The wound of losing his mother remained to be unhealed.

“For _her_ crimes, huh.” Katara was incredulous. “I really doubt she acted alone.”

“Oh, she definitely didn’t,” Zuko concurred. in that regard, he was quite sure. His mother had taken the fall for the treason committed by _both_ his parents.

“There’s a possibility your mother is alive, then,” Katara said, humming with optimism.

Zuko wordlessly nodded. The matter of her whereabouts was never properly confirmed when he’d talked with his father during the eclipse.

“I think your father might have an idea of where she went after she was banished.”

Zuko ruminated on that conjecture. “Yeah, he might.” It was worth looking into.

“Where is your father imprisoned?” Katara asked.

“In the dungeon below the palace.” It would be remiss to say Zuko minded when Katara leaned closer to him on the bench. She smelled… nice.

“You should go and see him,” Katara suggested, then spoke again when Zuko hadn’t said anything. “I’ll come with you. You know, for moral support.” She smiled at the older bender.

“I haven’t spoken to my father in a long time, Katara.” Not since forgoing his position as his son and heir to join the Avatar and assist in taking him down.

Katara seemed to catch wind to the intense cognitive dissonance he was experiencing. “If you’re nervous, remember I’ll be there with you,” she said.

Zuko hesitated before nodding. “Thanks. But… it’s not really necessary for you to come. I can face him on my own.” It was very much Zuko’s wont to do things alone.

“It’ll go smoother with a friend,” Katara insisted her point. Her kindhearted nature was aggressively unrelenting. “Let me help you.”

“You’re not gonna let up, are you?” There was a waver in Zuko’s fortitude. Like him, she was persistent.

“Nope.” Katara grinned. “It’s part of my charm.”

Zuko’s responding chuckle rumbled in his chest. He got up from the bench and his friend followed suit, her hands flying to straighten wrinkles in her gown that were invisible to Zuko’s eyes.

“Let’s go see my father,” Zuko said, emanating the imperial dominance he had learned from the very man they were about to pay a visit to.

Katara had entrapped him with a smile and, for the second time that day, Zuko felt warm inside for a reason beyond his realm of comprehension.

“As my lord commands.”

\--

The dungeon’s staircase was narrow and sinuous like a serpent coiling around its prey. Zuko made his descent, each step he took echoing off the sconce-lined walls. Torchlight wasn’t as needed as it would’ve been to someone who didn’t boast an uncanny ability of clear sight in the darkness.

“Welcome, Lord Zuko.” A guard that had been stationed at the bottom of the winding stairs bowed in greeting. “Shall I escort you someplace specific?”

Zuko was prepared to refuse the attentive offer, but it wasn’t as if he was a frequent sojourner to this part of his palace. He didn’t look at the guard when he brusquely said, “Take me to my father’s cell.”

“Of course, my lord,” the guard answered, a muscled arm extending to remove a torch from the wall. “Please follow me.”

Zuko said nothing while doing just that. The palace dungeon housed the most infamous Fire Nation criminals. They were oftentimes relocated to the Boiling Rock when it became too crowded, but were kept there if they were a personal offender to the royal family.

This was the prime place to immure the ex-Fire Lord Ozai.

The guard guided Zuko down a lengthy aisle of cells. The prisoners paid them both no mind.

“There, at the end.” The guard directed his attention to one cell in particular. “O-Ozai is… in that cell.” The guard was obviously unsure of how to even speak of his father. His no longer being ruling lord of their nation was quite recent.

“I’ll go myself,” Zuko said, then thanked him as a formality. The guard took some paces back and Zuko moved forward, trying to mitigate the influx of emotions that seemed loath to leave.

He was about to speak to his father for the first time since he’d betrayed the man during the eclipse. Zuko drew a heavy, preparatory intake of breath and made his approach. The cell was dark and guarded by bars fashioned of metal.

Zuko knew that would be ineffective in restraining the world’s only metalbender.

His father emerged from the shroud of darkness. His time imprisoned in the dungeon seemed to have taken an expected amount of toll. He no longer wore the top of his hair in a chonmage, but still looked like himself for the most part.

“I should count myself lucky,“ Ozai said, acknowledging his son. There was still somewhat of a malicious smolder in his eyes. “The new Fire Lord has graced me with his presence in my lowly prison cell.” The words felt disingenuous.

Zuko looked over his father in his cell. “You should count yourself lucky that the Avatar spared your life.” Honestly, Zuko doubted he would have bestowed him the same mercy if given the chance.

“Hmph.” His father didn’t look up.

“Banishing me was the best thing you could’ve done for my life,” Zuko said. “It put me on the right path.” It was the first time he truthfully felt superior to him. The noble former Fire Lord Ozai, who had burned the face of a thirteen-year-old boy because he refused to dual his own father.

“Perhaps your time in here will do the sane for you.”

It was a possibility.

Ozai had never been a practicer of small talk. He looked at his son in a pointed manner and asked, “Why are you really here?”

“Because you’re gonna tell me something,” Zuko replied, looking at his father and asserting his lordly dominance.

“Where is my mother?”

\--

Zuko had implored Katara to wait for him outside of the dungeon. “I need to confront him alone,” he had told her. Katara agreed, promising she’d be right there when he came back.

That had been a while ago. The sun was at its peak in the sky, heralding the arrival of midday. Katara watched from the window in the lowest level of the palace. The servants’ quarters were just a courtyard’s distance away.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” It was a voice Katara recognized on instant. Firm yet gruff, it pierced the air and echoed throughout the corridor the dungeon’s entrance spilled into. “I didn’t expect you’d even still _be_ here.” A look of dolor was written across the Fire Lord’s handsome face.

“I promised I would, didn’t I?” Katara looked up at him, observing the slight slouch in his stance. The meeting with Ozai must not’ve gone smoothly, then. She refrained from conjuring up too many guesses of what had transpired.

“An honorable Water Tribe woman must keep her promises.” Katara hoped to cheer him up with her somewhat playful tone of voice, but it was futile. Zuko didn’t even react.

“So… what happened in there?” Katara asked cautiously. She knew it was time to address larger concerns.

For a beat, Zuko was unresponsive. He stepped toward a window and sat atop its sill. At his side were potted fire lilies.

“She’s… gone,” he said, sounding and looking despondent.

There was a sinking feeling in Katara’s breast, right where her heart was. She opened and closed her mouth as she tried (and failed) to locate something she could possibly say to him.

“Zuko…” was all Katara could manage.

“The pain of being forced away from her loved ones and… having ended someone’s life… That all weighed on her. My control-freak of a father had a spy watching her for a while after her banishment so he knows that she…” Zuko trailed off then. His eyes were rooted to the floor. Katara patiently awaited elaboration, though she feared what he would say.

“She jumped off a bridge and drowned herself.” Zuko’s fingers were curled into a fist.

Katara cursed very quietly. She could do naught but make her way toward him, the movement hastened like she was being driven by some outside force.

“Zuko, I’m— I’m so sorry.” Katara saw the window sill heating beneath the firebender’s hand.

“I’ve already had years to accept I no longer had a mother. She was banished when I was still a kid.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t still be sad,” Katara said. “The grief never really leaves. Believe me. I should know.” She stood up on her toes so she could reach him more aptly (his perch on the window elevated him some inches) and slid both her arms around his shoulders in an embrace.

“Don’t deny your emotions.”

A moment ticked by before Katara finally felt arms enveloping her in turn, right at the small of her back. This hug had much more substance than the one she’d given him after their mission to accost the man responsible for taking her mother away. It was astonishing that Zuko had gone to such a length just to show he cared.

Katara and the Fire Lord pulled away at the same time. Still, he refused to meet her eyes, expression crumpled in obvious upset. Katara frowned. All she wanted was to make his pain go away.

“Aang should be back from meeting with the Fire Sages soon,” she tried. “Assuming Toph’s even awake, the three of us could do something together while we wait.” She hoped it was sufficient enticement fodder. “Quality time with friends is a known cure for sadness.”

But Zuko didn’t look even a little enticed. “What about Sokka and Suki?” he asked stiffly.

“They want to spend as much time together as they can before Suki returns to Kyoshi Islad in a few weeks,” Katara informed. “Suki told me that, today, she’s gonna prepare this huge picnic for Sokka. I wouldn’t expect them until tomorrow.”

“Sokka’ll enjoy that for sure. He’s got an abnormally large appetite.”

“That he does.” Katara seconded that with a grin. “I bet he could eat a whole ostrich-horse if provoked.”

“Or without provocation,” Zuko said, evidently not picking up on Katara’s attempt at jest. Or maybe he just wasn’t in the mood.

Katara tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “Do you wanna come with me and see if Toph’s awake?” The question came with a hopeful head-tilt. “The three of us could have tea while we wait for Aang to come back.” Katara herself thought the prospect sounded quite appealing.

Zuko must not have though. “I’m not really feeling all that sociable right now,” he said. “I kinda just… would rather be alone.” He was still reeling from that depressing news of what happened to his mother. Katara definitely understood, she was just hurt because she wanted so much to help him.

“If you’re sure,” Katara said while laying a tentative palm on his arm. Zuko didn’t seem to care for the touch.

“I am,” Zuko said, his voice quite firm. Katara offered a final, longing look before she conceded and turned away.

Zuko exited the corridor first. Katara watched with a sidelong glance, doubting it was even _almost_ enough to convey the extent of her concern.

_‘Please be okay, Zuko.’_


	2. Your Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so idk if it was a headcanon or not, but i once stumbled upon this list of atla character birthdays. i agree heavily with it.  
> on the list it says zuko and katara both have summer birthdays;. so right now, zuko is 17 and katara is 15 just in case anyone was curious.

Later that afternoon, Katara was alone in the guest chamber that had been assigned to her when she’d first come to stay at Zuko’s palace. She lay on the feathered mattress, staring at the canopy above her (that coincidentally was the same alluring gold as in a certain Fire Lord’s eyes) rather blankly. Her mind just would not cease its rampant running.

Something aberrant happened when she’d gone for a nap an hour before. Katara hadn’t meant to sleep for long; It was only to assuage the bout of exhaustion that had hit almost immediately following that premature end to the time she’d spent with the ruling lord of the nation she was guest to for a month.

 _‘Maybe it’s Zuko’s fault,’_ Katara tried to joke. It felt inappropriate to be amused when she was still very much worried about her friend and his wellbeing. Katara kept her gaze on her canopy and sighed.

Ordinarily, she didn’t remember her dreams, especially when her sleep-time was merely a brief snooze. It was curious that today strayed from the norm. Closed eyes weren’t needed for imagery of what she had dreamt about to resurface. Katara saw a ballroom devoid of people, save for herself as its sole inhabitant. She was formally dressed in a combination of blues and purples, her hair coiffed into a braid that went down her back.

Katara believed she was alone, but then a figure came before her that easily gave the impression of a male. The person had a lean, somewhat muscled build and was clad all in black, except for the blue mask that shielded his face from her.

Even in the dream, Katara couldn’t tear her eyes away. Something about the man in the blue mask was _calling_ to her.

Music resounded throughout the empty ballroom. A tsungi horn was heard blowing a slightly eerie tune that lacked percussion, but something about the melody befitted the moment. Katara couldn’t process what was happening before the mysterious masked man was pulling her to him, and the smell of sandalwood incense being burned infiltrated her nostrils.

That was the point wherein the dream sequence ended. Katara pushed two fingers to her temples, trying in desperation to cope with all the dissonant feelings that had encompassed her.

She’d let another man hold her and… had enjoyed it? It was unclear; Katara wasn’t entirely sure _how_ she had felt in the dream, or if it could even be percieved as infidelity.

 _‘No,’_ Katara said to herself, decisive. _‘I will never be unfaithful to Aang.’_

“Katara?”

Katara’s body shifted on the bed, a dose of pleasure surging right in. She looked toward the bedchamber door and felt a little breathless. “Just a second,” she called back, sitting up while her hands smoothed out the disarray her hair was likely in.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s great,” Aang said through the door. There was always a touch (or perhaps more) of warmth in his voice, no matter the context of what he was saying. “I was sent to escort you to the gardens. Everyone’s out there waiting.”

Katara wondered who was included in this “everyone” Aang referenced. Intuition told her Zuko probably wasn’t.

Katara hadn’t bothered to undress for her nap since she’d known it wouldn’t be for any extended period. She threw the blue coverlet off her body, got up and allowed bare feet to carry her toward the door. She slid on her sandals just before opening it.

Aang was there, unsurprisingly. His lips were turned upward as big grey eyes pinned themselves right onto hers.

“Escort away,” Katara said as she took his offered arm. In an exaggeratedly cordial voice, Aang said, “Right this way, your highness.” He grinned and she couldn’t help but mirror it.

Katara, Aang, Toph and perhaps even Sokka and Suki were meeting in the palace gardens for some much-needed friend time. Things felt a lot more scattered in the wake of the war’s end.

“So have you spoken to Zuko at all today?” Katara asked once she and Aang were a significant distance away from her bedchamber. She hoped the question didn’t sound too earnest.

“No,” Aang replied. “I figured he just had important Fire Lord stuff to do and won’t be joining us.”

Katara looked out of a window they were passing during their stroll through the guest quarters. “I saw him today, but it was brief.” Katara returned her eyes to her boyfriend’s. “He was very upset when he left. I was just wondering if he was feeling better.”

“Well he knows about our plans for today. If he shows up, we’ll know if he’s feeling better.” There was a bit of a pause in his speech. “Why was he ‘very upset’?”

Katara rolled her tongue around inside her mouth. “He found out the really unpleasant truth about what happened to his mom,” she said, then she went on to clarify that Ozai was the one who’d broken the news.

Aang’s face fell. His indomitable empathy was quite an admirable trait.

“Can we trust Ozai’s word?” Aang asked in an incredulous way. “For Zuko’s sake, I hope he’s lying.”

“Somehow I don’t think he is.” When Katara looked back at Aang, she noticed his eyes were on the path ahead of them. “He’s locked up in some grimy cell without any firebending. At this point, he has nothing to gain from lying.” Katara was curious about what Aang even knew pertaining to Zuko’s mother. Until today, she herself had only known that the Fire Nation was responsible for taking her away— It was akin to her own situation.

Her mind’s eye showed her flashes of that moment she shared with Zuko in **Ba Sing Se’s** Crystal Catacombs.

“It makes sense that he’d still be upset. It’s only been a few hours since he spoke to Ozai.” Katara needed to be reminded of that more than Aang probably did. “I know all that. I just—”

“You worry a lot about everyone,” Aang finished for her. “It’s okay, Katara. Honestly, it’s one of the best things about you.”

Katara made no attempts to fight off the smile that appeared. Instead of vocally stating gratitude, she leaned over to press a soft kiss to Aang’s lips, which he readily reciprocated. They both kept the connection chaste.

“It’s both a blessing and a curse,” Katara said. Her smile turned a little wry.

Aang perpetuated his lighthearted disposition when he said, “Everyone deserves to be cared about.”

Katara said nothing in response. They were both content with the silence that had taken hold, simply reveling in each other’s presence until…

“I’m leaving to go to Ba Sing Se soon,” Aang told his girlfriend. “The Earth King sent me a hawk. He needs my help in rebuilding the city.”

Katara kept her eyes in front of them. Like the quiet, her heart had been _sundered_. There was that sinking feeling again.

“How long will you be staying?” Katara asked quietly.

”Don’t know yet,” Aang replied. “I’ll… I’ll write you as soon as I’m there. Promise.”

Katara’s head hung and her hair hid her face from Aang. Really, as upset as she was, who was she to speak out when she knew it was the proper thing to do?

“Okay.” Katara gave her consent in a monotone voice. “That’s definitely reasonable. We’ve just… never really been separated, so it’s weird.” Weird may’ve been an understatement.

Aang sucked in breath. He reached down to grasp her hand and Katara fitted her fingers through his without thinking about it.

“It’s terrible,” Aang amended what Katara said with a pout. “But it won’t be for forever. I was gonna ask Toph if she wanted to tag along and stop to see her parents.”

“That’s a good idea,” Katara said, trying to keep the forlorn feeling out of her voice. Two of her loved ones were _leaving her_. “She puts on a brave face but I know how much she misses them.”

Admittedly, she was offended that Aang hadn’t suggested she come as well, but Katara also understood it would be far too distracting. Assisting the Earth King would have to take precedence.

\--

“It feels strange, doesn’t it?” Toph broke off a portion of the sweet-bun she was holding and gracelessly shoveled it into her mouth. “We’re hanging out at Zuko’s palace and the guy’s not even _here.”_

“You can’t always expect the Fire Lord to have downtime like we do,” Katara said as she rested her cheek on her palm. She was quick to defend Zuko because, honestly, it was unclear if duty was the only cause of his absence.

From the opposite side of their outdoor table, Sokka had a grin on his face. “My instincts tell me he’s probably just with his girlfriend.”

Katara bit her lip at that. She wasn’t sure why the mention of Mai got to her as much as it did. She hoped to mask that behind jocularity. “Sokka’s instincts rear their head yet again,” she quipped, looking at her brother.

Aang laughed from his seat beside Katara. The sound was a dulcet one, though Katara still hadn’t come to terms with the reality that, soon, he (and perhaps Toph too) would be leaving, so it only fractured her mood.

“It’s weird,” Sokka said. “For so long, I viewed Mai and Ty Lee as our enemies. But now they just… _aren’t.”_

Suki lowered a cup of pineapple juice from her lips. She chimed in by saying, “I think they were more just following Azula than actual bad people.”

It was the most logical way to look at it, Katara knew. She supposed she _should_ abolish the negativity she was harboring for Mai and Ty Lee.

“I know that. It’s just not easy for me to trust the Fire Nation.” It seemed Sokka was privy to his sister’s mental strife. “This new era of peace doesn’t mean all those oppressive jerks have just magically changed their ways.”

“I have to agree with Captain Suspicious,” concurred Toph once she’d finished off her pastry. “The Fire Nation isn’t all that trustworthy.”

“But we know firsthand that bad people can turn new leaves,” Aang intervened, steely eyes landing on Sokka. “Zuko’s more than proved himself. Remember how he risked his life to save Katara?”

Katara certainly remembered it. The poingnant memory was very much ingrained into her mind,as she suspected it would be eternally. Zuko had protected her from his sister’s attackw more than once.

Katara took a long, considerate gander at the body of water their table overlooked. _The Ren Lagoon_ was how Zuko identified it on a night Katara had been searching for a suitable spot to practice her waterbending.

Like her, Zuko was prone to be awake at hours when the majority of the world was sleeping. Sometimes, they would spend that time together.

“I bet you’re like the only nocturnal firebender in existence,” Katara remembered commenting. Zuko had chuckled and the timbre of it reverberated in Katara’s ears.

“Yeah, probably.”

Katara replaced her attention on her other friends. She hadn’t even noticed that the sun was beginning to tuck itself behind eventide clouds.

“The lake looks so pretty like that,” Suki sighed out the observation. Katara saw the longing look Sokka gave her as he said, “Yeah. Fire Nation sunsets… They’re something to behold.” She caught the love in his eyes.

Katara smiled to herself. She would concede that it gladdemed her to see Sokka and Suki happy, though that was betrayed by the gagging noises she made when they came together for a kiss. “Well my appetite is no more,” Katara remarked. In a feigned portrayal of distaste, she pushed her barely-touched plate of dumplings away.

“Well don’t mind if I do.” Sokka didn’t even _pretend_ to ask before swiping a dumpling from Katara’s plate. “Your contribution is much appreciated, little sister.” He grinned.

Suki slapped the wrist that had stolen the piece of food.

“What?” Sokka asked. Katara knew that wasn’t honest and true innocence in his eyes. “I need to make sure I have a lot to eat. Zuko’s gonna spar with me later,” Sokka said, smiling confidently.

“Ohh.” Aang chuckled. “So you’ll be sparring with the Blue Spirit.”

“The _Blue Spirit_?” Toph tilted her head in blatant puzzlement. 

“Wait, you mean that person on all the Fire Nation ‘WANTED’ posters?” Sokka looked shocked by the alleged revelation.

The Blue Spirit. If she racked her brain, Katara was pretty sure she could envision a picture of this person. Each time she had encountered a “WANTED” poster in this nation, he was featured.

Then something suddenly clicked in Katara’s head.

That man from her dream… _He_ had been wearing a mask that, if she remembered correctly, closely resembled the Blue Spirit’s. And now, Aang was making a claim that it was Zuko.

“How do you know that’s Zuko?” asked Suki. Katara desired an explanation as well.

“He… Well, he kind of told me,” Aang said to his friends that occupied the table. “This man in a blue mask was who rescued me when I was Zhao’s prisoner, and he did it all with swords.” Aang sounded impressed by his talent.

“By accident I saw what was under the mask. It was _Zuko,”_ he continued. “Then people started calling him the ‘Blue Spirit’ without even realizing it was the Fire Prince.” He aired out a laugh.

“Woah,” Toph said, amused. “Who knew Zuko’s been living a double-life as some masked vigilante.”

Katara didn’t find anything about this funny, not in the slightest. She knew Aang wouldn’t either if he was aware of what she was thinking about.

“Just saying, he’s good with swords,” Aang said, his words aimed at the eldest one there.

Suki’s expression became museful. “I think I’d like to watch this sparring session,” she said. “I’ve never seen the mighty Water Tribe warrior Sokka engaged in a swordfight before.”

Katara saw her brother’s cheeks pinken somewhat as he averred to Suki that he was indeed capable in hand-to-hand combat.

“And I can vouch,” added a grinning Toph. “I’ve seen it for myself after all.”

Everyone (excluding Sokka) laughed at the young earthbender’s jape. Katara had even forced her involvement, knowing it would raise suspicion otherwise. She wasn’t keen on telling her friends any part of what was troubling her.

 _Oh yeah, so I had a dream about some masked guy that maybe might’ve been Zuko_ and _I’m spoken for._

Katara cringed. Most definitely not.

She pensively sipped on her porcelain cup of aojiru. Aang had turned her on to the drink; It was apparently quite common among his people and a personal favorite of Monk Gyatso’s. It also induced the tranquility pertinent to meditate. 

“Zuko said to meet on the training grounds at sundown,” Sokka said, sending a cursory glance to the quickly-darkening sky. “Guess it’s time to go.”

Katara thought on how _stringent_ he was when he’d trained Aang in firebending. She doubted he would be forgiving if Sokka was tardy.

“Zuko takes his training very seriously.” It was the first time Katara said anything in a while.

Aang grumbled, “That’s Sifu Hotman for you.”

“You guys really are a bunch of wimps,” Toph noted, teasing laughter leaving her.

For the second time, Katara smiled to herself. She had always bore fondness for their group dynamic, but it truly culminated at the most recent addition of Zuko, as well as Suki. Katara hoped it would prevail.

\--

She took her leave of the dining hall after completing her evening meal. It still felt odd; Before coming to stay at the royal Fire palace, Katara had no experience in being waited on so attentively— or at all— by servants. It was interesting, but also unfamiliar.

Katara walked through the palace whose layout was still new to her. That tour Zuko had given did little in the face of the possibility of getting lost. While Katara _did_ recall the then not-officially-sworn-in Fire Lord apprising her of the names and locations of quite a few places, it was hopeless to try and remember them all.

“Excuse me.” Katara opted to speak out to a passing custodian. He stopped with his broom in hand. “Do you know where I might find the guest quarters?”

“Once you come to the end of the hallway, take the stairs and keep left,” the custodian said. “That should bring you right to ‘em.”

Katara stored that helpful bit of information within her mind. “Thank you,” she said graciously, then started off further down the hallway as per the custodian’s direction.

\--

“Is Zuko in yet?”

Katara ceased movement. She instantly recognized the drawl, as well as the slender, pale frame cloaked in apt Fire Nation garb. The comely female posed in front of Fire Lord Zuko’s bedchamber entrance was conversing with one of the guards who manned the area.

 _‘She speaks about him so… informally.’_ It was to be expected. Mai and Zuko had a history.

“No, my lady. Currently, he is out training with Sokka of the Water Tribe.”

“That so?” Mai pushed one shiny braid off her shoulder. “I suppose I’ll wait for him.” Expectant hazel eyes were on the guardsman.

Katara started to gnaw at her lip. She knew it wasn’t appropriate to snoop, but it also wasn’t her fault for losing her way and winding up in the private corridor that held Zuko’s quarters, instead of at her own chamber.

“You’re welcome to, Lady Mai.” The guard made a complaisant gesture toward the two doors of Zuko’s bedchamber. “He will be delighted to see you.”

“Here’s to hoping that’s true,” Mai intoned, and then she’d disappeared into the capacious chamber.

She was Zuko’s girlfriend. It was her prerogative to do things like that. Katara kept herself deathly still; It wouldn’t go over well if she aroused attention from her spot at the end of the corridor. With closed eyes, she swallowed down a lump that formed in her throat.

She didn’t like Mai, and she didn’t like that she was romantic with Zuko, someone she definitely _did_ like. Following Azula or no, she spent a lot of time terrorizing her and her friends. The animosity was understandable.

_‘But… so did Zuko.’_

Katara knew that. The difference was that _Zuko_ had actively sought out redemption. He had done many things to prove his care for Katara and the others. She didn’t think she knew anyone with such a fascinating journey.

A tiny, unbidden smile tugged at Katara’s mouth. The gripes she had with Mai faded into irrelevancy for the time being. She knew it was time she got back to attempting to locate the place she _should_ be rather than stay and risk being discovered.

But Katara was intercepted from stealing away when she suddenly was colliding with something (or perhaps it was someone) that happened to be turning the corner as she was. Whatever she had bumped into was hard and smelled faintly of… sandalwood?

“S-Sorry about that!” Katara sputtered. She stepped back and blue eyes raised to see who it even was. She felt breathless again.

Fire Lord Zuko himself was staring down at her, an unreadable look on his face.

“Oh, Zuko, I—” Katara blinked a few times. “I was just om my way back to…” What she was fixing to say died in her throat and all she could do was stare back.

“This palace is like one huge maze.”

Zuko wore but the wraith of a smile. “You’re fine, don’t worry,” he said. “I know you’re not yet accquainted with where everything is and… it is pretty huge.”

Katara watched him take a step back to increase the distance between them. His scent no longer was invading her senses.

“I could escort you to where you need to go.”

“That’s very… chivalrous of you,” Katara noted with a smile. “But you don’t have to, y’know. I um, I saw— Well, there’s a surprise waiting for you in your quarters.” Katara upheld the eye-contact. “It’d probably be better if you assigned someone to help me instead.”

Only confined to her mind would Katara admit his confused expression was endearing. “A surprise?” he repeated in a questioning voice.

Katara nodded. She availed the opportunity to look at him— to really _look at him._ Inky hair and pale skin, a mirror of his girlfriend. Both their aristocratic appearances were unique to the Fire Nation. Katara had never seen a more fitting pair.

They made sense.

Katara knew Zuko was too impatient to _not_ go and see about the unnamed mystery awaiting him. She had no qualms (or maybe she did); Personal feelings aside, Mai was Zuko’s girlfriend, and, as his friend Katara should support his endeavors, right?

“It’s sure to provoke something, I know that much.” Katara’s smile remained intact. “I shouldn’t keep you. I’ll just try to find my way and—”

“No.” Zuko stopped her by holding up his hand. There was finality in that word. “I’ll have a servant escort you.”

Katara was powerless to do anything but breathe, “Okay.”

\--

_Love Amongst The Dragons, by Chang Ito_

Zuko stared at the book he possessed and his single eyebrow drew inward. The tale was an old one, a renowned classic of his nation. And besides that, his mother had great adoration for it.

_‘Mother…’_

Zuko was not a fan of how simply he could visualize his family summering at Ember Island and his mother taking him and Azula to see the Ember Island Players’ rendition of _Love Amongst The Dragons_ every year. “It’s nowhere near as well done as when _I_ would perform it back in my village,” Ursa would say to her children, “but plays are a piece of my old life that I like to be reminded of.” Then she would smile wistfully, as she frequently did whenever she recounted what her life was prior to marrying into the royal Fire Family.

_‘And now, she’s gone.’_

At present, Zuko stood in his personal study. He looked toward one of two bookcases in hope of finding some method of entertainment because, shocker, sleep just refused to come this night. There was a second body in his bed that the Fire Lord presumed was asleep. It was plausible in the afterglow of that… intimacy they’d shared.

Mai came to see Zuko with the intention of mending what had been broken amid their breakfast-date. Zuko wasn’t so willing, and yet ultimately, reason gave way to passion and they ended up committing acts that required far less talking.

A girl in his bed _should’ve_ adequately enticed Zuko. It had the opposite effect though. Being around the person he still was in a disagreement with was at the bottom of the list of potential outlets for his inability to sleep.

Then, the teenaged Fire Lord was struck by an abrupt thought. Sure strides brought him toward one of the exits to his quarters, and, as the door swung open, he noted the small pack of guards outside. They seemed to be awaiting Zuko’s pleasure.

Each one uttered some version of a respectful greeting. Zuko nodded to them, then he walked through the corridor toward the staircase he knew would transport him to the palace’s west wing exit.

Being indoors suddenly felt _constricting._

\--

The moon hadn’t yet made an appearance when Zuko slipped out of the palace. It was the same path he oftentimes took in childhood, though it felt queer to not be accompanied by his mother. The turtle-duck pond was another thing Lady Ursa adored.

Zuko approached the pond in unwittingly light movements. He was still used to being in places wherein his identity had to be concealed.

Someone was already there.

Even in the dark, Zuko sighted the oceanic hues that swam in her eyes. Katara had her upper-body craned forward and her fingers submerged in the shallow water of the turtle-duck pond. A smile was decorating her face as she played with a duckling that must’ve wandered away from its mother.

Without realizing, Zuko donned his own, slighter smile. He continued his approach until his feet were planted right beside Katara’s crouching form.

Katara, evidentially sensing she was no longer alone, looked over and up. She exhaled deeply. “Tui-and-La, Zuko!” A small hand retracted from the pond and laid over her heart. “You scared me half to death…”

They both wore casual attire. Katara’s curls had been pulled from her face by two loose braids that joined at the back of her head.

_‘She looks pretty.’_

“Sorry,” Zuko said, scratching the base of his neck. For some reason he felt sheepish. “Scaring you wasn’t my intention.”

Katara scooted from the pond. She smiled as if to say she believed him.

“I take it you couldn’t sleep either?”

Zuko shook his head without speaking.

“Oh.” Katara looked up into Fire-Nation-gold eyes. She exuded much playfulness when she said, “Then I recommend you come sit with me.”

Zuko was unable to retain a chuckle. “I accept your recommendation.” That was when he lowered to sit next to Katara. He could almost hear his sister admonishing him by saying how _unseemly_ it is for royalty to sit on the ground.

Katara had her palms behind them while she gazed at the night sky. “So, um, how are you feeling?”

Zuko truly appreciated how compassionate she was. “I’m honestly not sure,” he admitted. He gave his friend a sidelong glance. “For the most part I just feel suffocated. That’s why I came out here, I guess.” And Zuko might’ve been hoping to run into someone in particular.

For a beat, Katara was silent. Her lips came apart, then they shut again. “What about Mai?”

There, Zuko stopped short. “I don’t… know what you mean.” He felt incredibly daft right then.

Katara’s legs were stretched outward and crossed at the ankle. “I saw her go into your quarters earlier so I figured…” She looked like she was pondering something. “you’d be with _her.”_

Shags of black hair were tickling Zuko’s neck. That night, they were not in the chonmage style that was specific to his people.

“Mai and I aren’t—” He audibly cleared his throat and took another try at saying something with substance. “We still haven’t _talked_ , Katara,” Zuko informed her. “It just doesn’t feel right to be around her.”

“Oh,” Katara said again. Azure orbs slid to Zuko but his face was turned away. “Okay, I see that. I’m… sorry, Zuko.” Just like earlier, he felt a soft hand touching his bicep.

“Don’t worry about it.” His eyelids fell shut.

“As if I ever could do that,” Katara muttered. With closed eyes, Zuko was ignorant to that hint of pink painting her cheeks.

“So I heard about you sparring with Sokka today.” Katara chewing her lip was the first thing Zuko saw when his eyes blinked open again. “Is it smart to exert yourself so recklessly? I mean, that battle with Azula… It was pretty recent.” Katara was looking at him with purpose and Zuko returned the intense stare without issue.

“What if your wound reopens?”

“Katara, I’m all good,” he said solemnly. “You’re undoubtedly the best waterbender I’ve seen, and it was _you_ who healed me.” He was speaking the truth. Zuko had been so amazed by all she could do when they’d gone to confront the Southern Raiders together.

“The best waterbender?” Katara was smiling in a demure way.

“Toph isn’t here to judge me, but I promise I’m not lying.” It was the second time that day that she had made him blush.

“I trust you, so it’s fine,” Katara said, and Zuko didn’t think he’d ever tire of hearing that. She _trusted_ him…

“I may be an able waterbender, but even _I_ couldn’t fully take away the scar, Zuko. Too much movement is bound to—”

No forethought went into Zuko grasping the edge of his tunic and yanking it upward so Katara could _see._

“I’ve been applying ointment daily, you know.”

It was Katara’s reddened face that forced Zuko to apprehend the intimacy he’d created. “Oh, I— didn’t mean to—” Zuko shot his eyes away, warmth hitting his face as well.

“N-No.” Katara licked her lips. “No it’s… It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“I only wanted you to see how the scar’s healing,” Zuko notified, his eyes still averted. The garment fell from his hand to cover his midsection once more.

“It, uh— It seems to be doing well,” Katara managed, “but I still think you shouldn’t be doing anything insane.” The words were followed by a bit of laughter.

Zuko exhaled. He shifted honey-colored eyes out ahead of them. “I don’t like feeling incompetent,” he gruffly said. “I’m no invalid, Katara. I want to be active and not be seen as weak. The Fire Lord can’t be looked down on by _anyone.”_ His voice shrunk when he said, “I suppose I miss having a reason to fight.”

“You’re not weak, Zuko,” Katara said, sounding assured. “But I understand more than you probably realize.”

Zuko could feel her gaze on him.

“It’s… Well I’m not sure how to describe it. My entire life, I wanted to prove myself as a waterbender. I wanted to _fight_ ,” she said. “And I spent so long doing it that now it feels… second nature.”

Katara sighed before resuming her speech. “The war ending was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened. It was what the world _needed._ I know that, I just—”

Still, Zuko wasn’t looking at her, so he missed the moisture that was gathering in her eyes.

“I suppose I don’t want to feel useless.” The last word barely even surpassed a whisper. When Zuko finally met Katara’s eyes, he was surprised to see the teers that now streamed down her cheeks.

_‘What?’_

“Oh, I’m crying…” Katara weakly pointed out. Her fingers pressed at the corner of her eyes to try—in van— to impede the rheumy expulsion. “Why am I crying?”

Zuko’s jaw slackened. He assumed her question was hypothetical, because he was at a loss for what action he even ought to take. Rarely did he knew what to do when people cried in his presence. It was quite the conundrum.

“Aang… He’s leaving,” Katara said around a choked sobbing sound. Zuko at least knew he didn’t like to see her in this state.

“Leaving?” Zuko blinked. He was aggrieved by the news (he and Aang were close), but he tried to withhold it because he wanted to be strong for The Avatar’s Girlfriend instead.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Ba Sing Se. Earth King Kuei asked for his help in rebuilding.” There was scarcely any rise or fall in her pitch. Zuko frowned.

“When will this be happening?” he carefully asked, hoping to keep Katara from becoming too miserable.

“As soon as he talks to Toph.”

“Why Toph?”

“Gaoling is near to Ba Se,” Katara said, listless. “Aang wants to go with Toph to see her parents on the way there.”

Zuko watched Katara wipe her eyes, even as tears continued to fall. He knew they weren’t yet close enough for him to touch her hand, or for an arm around her shoulders, but…

“It shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise, right?” A depressed Katara laid her hands in her lap. “Aang is the _Avatar._ For him, duty calls loudly.”

Zuko knew as much, and that this, unfortunately, was only the beginning.

“I’m just sad,” Katara said as she breathed through her nose. “The war’s over now so it feels like… like there’s really no reason for us to stay together.” She looked down. “It’s like my family is crumbling.”

There was hesitation before a heavy hand came upon Katara’s shoulder. It trembled beneath the touch.

“It’s not crumbling,” Zuko said, attempting comfort. “Love. That’s a pretty good adhesive, Katara.”

Katara let her entire head drop forward. Brown strands of hair brushed against Zuko’s fingers. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation.

“I suppose it is,” Katara considered. “No offense, but I never pegged you as the type that would offer meaningful advice.” Sue momentarily closed her eyes.

“I do what I can.” Zuko let his hand fall away from Katara’s shoulder. “I know I’m not included in your family yet, but just know… Here, you’ll always have a home.”

Zuko wouldn’t be going anywhere. The ruler of the Fire Nation couldn’t just traipse about the world on a whim.

Those words seemed to do something to Katara. She started to worry her lip, then turned to him with a watery half-smile. “Thank you, Zuko,” she mumbled, catching Zuko completely off-guard when her head went down to rest atop his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zuko's plight: he wants katara but can't do anything about it for obvious reasons.


	3. Renegade Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Katara becomes feverish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i'm sorry but this chapter is about to be looooooong :x

Zuko was hardly the most extraverted person, but he would make an exception for those he cared for. His yellow-gold eyes regarded the three others at the table— that truthfully felt more like _their_ table— as he drank a single swallow of tea. It had been a fortnight since their group was temporarily detracted two members and a significant impression had been left behind. Even this sit-down in the Fire Lord’s gardens didn’t feel all that wonted.  
  
Not having Toph or Aang with them was weird, though anything was preferable to being alone in the lord’s chamber, confined to perturbing thoughts.  
  
Zuko had seen Mai very scarcely during this period of two weeks. On the surface, they’d made up, although it didn’t feel like they had. Zuko had been the one to initiate the estrangement between them, despite how hard it was. It just didn’t feel right to be around her, and he was perpetually striving to do the right thing.  
  
He had been feeling guilty. That was the paramount compulsion driving this reluctance to see Mai. Zuko understood it would be counterproductive to deny the truth, but he’d never been that keen on treachery.  
  
Zuko had always noticed Katara. From the start, he’d noticed she was a pretty girl (very pretty) and, over time, augmented her skill to become a powerful waterbender. The most powerful, as per what Zuko had witnessed.  
  
He wasn’t stupid, nor was he one to ignore a fact that was obvious to him. What began as brief intimacy underneath Ba Sing Se had grown. Zuko and Katara were friends, though the affection he bore for the lovely waterbender was not what he’d anticipated. It felt like something more than platonic.  
  
Zuko had _feelings_ for Katara. He had since she’d jarred him with selflessness and proposed to heal his scar. Before, the only other prominent and _pure_ dose of kindness had been from his uncle. The encounter impacted him so severely that it laid the groundwork for Zuko to like her.  
  
This attraction may’ve established itself at a time before Mai entered the picture, but Zuko knew that wouldn’t belittle how utterly _distraught_ she would be to unearth where exactly his heart had deviated to. Hurting her wasn’t a thing he enjoyed. It wasn’t like he could command himself to _not_ feel anything for Katara though.  
  
She was one of the best people he’d ever known.  
  
Fire Lord Zuko peered into his ceramic teacup, brooding over the woes that were bedeviling his mind. He hadn’t even realized that his friends were loquaciously confabulating about… that time Sokka had foolishly ingested cactus juice. Again. It certainly was interesting that Sokka retold that story whenever a chance struck, and always with the same amount of ardor.  
  
Zuko was wholly content to tune them out. He was verging on that, but was obstructed by a voice ringing in his ears.  
  
“You alright, Zuko my man?”  
  
It was from Sokka. He had taken to calling Zuko that back when they first evolved from being mere allies.  
  
“Yeah,” Zuko lied, “I’m alright.” Nothing in that terse statement was convincing. Sokka wasn’t able to investigate because something else promptly absconded with his attention.  
  
Three consecutive coughs sounded from the right of where Zuko sat. Looking wasn’t required for him to _know_ who was emitting them either; It was a voice he was exposed to daily.  
  
Suki tucked some auburn hair behind her ear. “Maybe it’s _Katara_ who needs to be questioned if she’s alright,” she pointed out.

Sokka followed his girlfriend’s eyes over to his sitter. She had filled the chair beside Zuko that usually would’ve been occupied by Aang. “Spirits,” grumbled the Water Tribesman. “I really hope that isn’t you getting sick, Katara.” His sigh was dramatic, though Zuko caught the underlying concern. “You don’t wanna suck on frozen frogs again.”  
  
“Wait, _what_?” Suki’s eyes widened. “You’ve… sucked on frogs before?”  
  
Katara nodded with visible discomfort. “Back in Winter, Sokka and I had fevers and really nasty coughs. We were told sucking on frozen wood-frogs would help.” She scrunched up her nose, and Zuko couldn’t say it wasn’t cute.  
  
“That doesn’t sound pleasant,” Zuko commented.  
  
“It was awful, Zuko,” Sokka complained, his expression apply conveying just how _disgusted_ he was. “You wouldn’t believe how much I—”  
  
But that was when Katara released a second fit of coughs. Zuko shot his eyes to her with surprising speed.  
  
“Katara…” He rasped her name at a volume almost too low to be audible. Katara heard it though. She gazed at Zuko and the two fell into prolonged eye-contact. No words were spoken, yet the tension was close to taking physical form. Zuko couldn’t have been the only one aware.  
  
“You ought’ta have some more tea, Katara,” Sokka suggested. If he’d noticed any part of the exchange of eyes, he was choosing not to address it. “It may stave off the sickness.”  
  
Katara’s eyes went narrow. Like Zuko, she was quick to anger. “Guys, I’m _not_ getting sick,” she insisted. “I don’t drink spice tea often. This is probably my body’s way of reacting to it.”  
  
Katara was good at disarming people. It might’ve worked if Zuko wasn’t already so mired in his concern.  
  
“I have to back Sokka on this one,” Zuko said. He glanced at the one closest to him in age. “Perhaps a different type of tea, then?”  
  
Katara had a fond look on her face when oceanic eyes lifted to the Fire Lord. “Fine.” She consented much more easily than expected. “I won’t fight you on this, my lord.”  
  
Zuko showed gratitude by flashing a smile that was meant only for Katara to see. “For that, you have my thanks.”  
  
“It really sucks that Toph isn’t here.” A rueful sigh tumbled from Sokka’s lips. “I can almost hear her snide remark about how _delicate_ you are, Katara.” He grin evinced just how pleased with himself he was for saying that.  
  
Katara bristled. Again, her eyes went narrow. “I’m _not_ delicate.” To accentuate that, she reached forward, utilizing the water held in the vase at the table’s center to create a tendril and lightly smack the side of Sokka’s face.  
  
Zuko smirked. The circumstance didn’t matter to him; Seeing Katara bend water was always exhilarating, but it was even more so when she was putting someone in their place. That was a good look.  
  
“You know you deserved that.” Suki’s laughter permeated the air. “it wasn’t a smart move to insult a waterbending master.”  
  
Katara laughed alongside the Kyoshi Warrior. “Not smart at all.” Sue enjoyed poking fun at Sokka, as was her right as his sister. Zuko couldn’t help but be a little envious of it. He seldom would share that kind of good-natured banter with his own malicious younger sibling.  
  
“They have a point, Sokka,” Zuko said, trying to remove his thoughts from his impaired relationship with Azula.  
  
“Don’t be that way,” Sokka begged. He looked comically affronted as he wiped away the residual water from Katara’s whip. “Us men, we have to stick together.”  
  
“That’s a really dumb notion, Sokka,” Katara admonished, her lips forming a mocking grin. “Aang would take my side if he was here.”  
  
“He’s your boyfriend,” Sokka said as a reminder. “It’s basically his duty to support you.”  
  
Katara made a face at that. “And you’re my _brother_. What about your duty?”  
  
Zuko broke himself away from the conversation. It was disquieting for sure, the way his chest clenched up at what Sokka had said. Zuko knew it wasn’t right for him to feel like this. Aang was his friend. He shouldn’t be desiring the one person he was romantically involved with.  
  
But he did. Zuko _desired_ Katara, and he felt lingering resentment toward Aang because he’d been allotted the privilege of being with her in place of him. It was unbecoming, and also traitorous. Aang was an exceptional friend. He didn’t deserve betrayal.

 _‘I’m terrible.’_  
  
Zuko raised his teacup and sipped the now-tepid contents. In truth, he was only partly paying attention to the happenings of the table, but he did catch Katara voicing concern over Aang’s whereabouts and how she hadn’t received a letter from him yet.  
  
 _‘She loves him a lot.’_

Sighing mutely, Zuko took it upon himself to order Katara another cup of tea when a servant wandered near to the table. Katara smiled and called him chivalrous again, and Zuko closed his eyes to divert the blush that threatened to make an appearance on his face.  
  
\--  
  
It was just a few days inro Autumn so the weather remained bearable, yet the shift was not a thing Zuko was unaware of. Fire Nation seasons did own the reputation of being milder than most, but the warmth definitely was coming to an (albeit gradual) end. The less-torrid heat in the air was an adequate indicator.  
  
To evade the breeze, Zuko moved to shut each window in the palatial chamber he was in. Yes, he could’ve simply instructed a servant to perform the task instead, but Zuko loathed feeling like he was some inept shut-in. Fire Lord or no, he’d rather be active, and was not unused to getting his hands dirty.  
  
Then, a sudden knocking on the door forced Zuko to halt amid what he was doing. He turned on the heel of his boot, sunlight eyes landing right on the door at the other end of the suite.  
  
“My lord.” It was a deep, monotonous voice that was speaking through the door. “Sokka of the Water Tribe has come to see you.”  
  
Zuko took a step forward, admittedly gladdened by the announcement. He and Sokka were unlikely, yet steadfast, friends.  
  
“Send him in.”  
  
The door opened and in walked Sokka. He bowed his head with a playful upturn of the lips. “Yo.” He lifted one swarthy hand.  
  
“Hey, Sokka,” Zuko returned the greeting. He leaned against the edge of a nearby table and practically _pinned_ him to the floor with his intense stare. “Something up?”  
  
Sokka tilted his head in the same manner that his sister would. “I’d say there wasn’t if this wasn’t so dire.” He pressed his lips into a line.  
  
If it hadn’t been already, Zuko’s interest was piqued. The look he gave Sokka sufficed to implore him to clarify what he meant.  
  
Sokka sat in a chair at the table Zuko was leant on. “Remember that cough Katara had yesterday?”  
  
Zuko nodded. That wasn’t something he was like to forget anytime soon. “I do,” was his reply.  
  
“Well it got worse,” Sokka said. “Not only does she have a cough, but now she has a fever too.” He breathed out.  
  
It didn’t take long for what Sokka said to register. The immediate takeaway was that Katara had fallen ill. Zuko’s fingers curled themselves into a fist as he averted his eyes, therefore missing the strange look Sokka gave him.  
  
“So… I guess asking if she’s okay would be redundant.” Zuko had never excelled at keeping emotion out of his voice.   
  
“I’ve been watching over her all day,” Sokka stated in answer. “She’s better than she would be if she was alone.”  
  
Zuko looked at him pointedly. “But now you’re here.”  
  
“Okay, chill out.” Sokka raised both his hands, chuckling. “I was about to ask if you could go check on her, your lordliness.”  
  
Zuko’s eyes were still on Sokka when he asked, “Oh?”  
  
“Yeah.” Sokka nodded in affirmation. “I have some errands to run in town. It shouldn’t take long, but I don’t really feel comfortable with Katara doing things by herself right now.”  
  
“As you shouldn’t,” Zuko said. He honestly didn’t either. “So, what, you need me to keep an eye on your sister while you’re gone?” It was an inviting prospect indeed.  
  
“Exactly,” Sokka said. “Is that doable?”  
  
Zuko was prepared to say it was without even an ounce of forethought, but something kept him from that. He thought back, recalling what was already decided upon earlier in the day. To him, it was of much Import.  
  
He was going to visit Mai. Zuko knew that was the right thing in this situation, and besides that… he missed her. He could remember how things used to be prior to the realization that he’d fallen for someone else. Back when Mai was the solitary inhabitant of his heart.  
  
 _‘Back when I was still a prince and leading a life that never satisfied me.’_  
  
His eyes downcast, Zuko severed himself from his introspection and resolutely said, “It’s doable, yeah.”  
  
\--  
  
A heavy fist rapped on the door Zuko knew would grant him entry into Katara’s bedchamber.  
  
“Katara,” the Fire Lord firmly said, “it’s me, Zuko.” He was considering barging in whether or not a response came. It was possible she was asleep.  
  
“Come in.” It was spoken after a beat. Zuko could definitely hear how weak and strained the words sounded. He yanked the door toward himself and strode unceremoniously into the chamber, exhaling at what he saw.  
  
Katara was abed. This was noted without surprise, though what _did_ surprise Zuko was how it made him feel. Never before had he seen Katara in this state: enfeebled, and in clear need of assistance. _His_ assistance. Dutiful friend that he was, Zuko couldn’t refuse her.  
  
“And you were so convinced it was merely a cough.” His feet carried him a closer proximity to her bed. Zuko grabbed hold of the sheer canopy, fastening it to a bedpost so he was allowed a better view of her.  
  
Katara looked up at him from her spot against feathered pillows. “It’s not as bad it looks,” she tried, the sound of her voice disclosing something different.  
  
Zuko placed his palm over Katara’s forehead. Her brown hair was splayed out on a pillow and her lips were a little parted. “You’re burning up.” The discernment was accompanied by a sigh.   
  
To that, Katara was verbally unresponsive. Zuko perched himself at the edge of the bed and returned her gaze without effort.  
  
“Did my brother send you?”  
  
That was debatable. Zuko suspected he would’ve come of his own volition, even without Sokka urging him. Katara meant a lot to him, after all.  
  
“More or less,” he said after a thoughtful second. He wondered if she picked up on the unsaid, ‘But I care about you.’  
  
Katara rolled her eyes upward. “He’s so—” But that wasn’t finished. Long and pale fingers curled into the blanket Katara was lying beneath. The exterior was silken.  
  
“He’s just being a big brother,” Zuko supplied, intending to mollify her with how he phrased it. “He _cares_ , y’know.”  
  
Katara’s eyes affixed to the canopy. Judging by her disposition, Zuko’s words must’ve resonated. “I know he does,” she conceded in a barely-audible voice. “So then… what about Azula?” She licked her lips. “What was it like when _she_ was sick?”  
  
Zuko never liked talking about his family. His uncle was the only one who wasn’t tainted by a negative connotation.  
  
“It rarely happened,” Zuko muttered. Upkeeping her immune system was yet another thing Azula dud well.   
  
“Why does that not surprise me?” Katara turned her body so she lied on her side. Their eyes met. “It’s hard to imagine the big bad Azula vulnerable.” Her laughter was faint.   
  
“Yeah,” Zuko said under his breath. Mentions of Azula never failed to discompose him. “Azula would just hole up in her quarters.” The words left him prosaically. “She never enjoyed appearing weak, so it was mainly her handmaidens who cared for her.”  
  
Katara was silent, just studying those subtle changes in Zuko’s face that only she could perceive. “You don’t like talking about her, do you?” Even sick, her intuition was sharp. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Zuko sighed. He clenched and unclenched his fingers at his side. “You don’t have to apologize,” he softly told her. “It’s just baffling to me. I know I _should_ hate her. But…” Zuko glanced away, feeling like he was betraying her. “I can’t bring myself to.” He had never admitted that to anyone.  
  
Katara had her eyes closed and her head on a pillow. “That’s totally understandable,” she said. “Despite everything, Azula is your sister. That has to count for something, right?”  
  
“But she’s tried to murder almost everyone I care about.” Zuko was saying that mostly to himself. It was a bit too simple to visualize their Agni Kai: how, because he’d taunted her, Azula aimed her lighting at Katara. He had felt such deep-seated despair that he might lose her, so of course he dove in front of it.

“You included, Katara.”

Katara opened her eyes and seemed to be comprehending where Zuko’s head was at. There was minor hesitation before she reached out and briefly covered his hand with hers.  
  
“But… I’m still here.” The reminder equally matched the gentleness of her touch.  
Zuko hoped his face wouldn’t promulgate how deeply that affected him.

“I’ll do what I can to ensure that remains the case.” He was serious about that.

  
“So will I,” said Katara. “The Fire Lord and a master waterbender working together... Sounds like a pretty solid team.” She smiled and Zuko did the same.  
  
His worry was renewed when he saw how fatigued she looked. Her eyes were only part of the way open. “You should have another blanket on you.” Zuko once more touched her forehead to assess the extent of her fever. “It’ll help in sweating this out.”  
  
“Yes, sir,” Katara said compliantly. Again, she rolled onto her back, squirming about to make herself comfortable.  
  
“I have to uphold my vow to keep you alive,” Zuko said. Katara’s eyelids had drooped and the silk blanket had been drawn up around her. Zuko found himself just staring while she succumbed to sleep.

\--

Adhering to what he told Zuko, Sokka’s sojourn beyond the palace walls wasn’t for long. The sun was still shining when he came back. Zuko realized it would be prudent of him to seize the opportunity and do what he _should._ Katara was on the brink of dozing off (if she hadn’t already), and now her brother was back. Realistically, Zuko could leave.

…Realistically.

“How is she?” Sokka questioned the Fire Lord. They were at current stationed outside of Katara’s bedchamber and conferring in hushed tones.

“It’s highly probable that she’s asleep,” gauged Zuko, looking once to her door. He couldn’t stop agonizing about Katara’s safety. “She’s fine, Sokka. I’ve been attending to her just like you requested.”

A lopsided grin snuck onto Sokka’s face, like he was privy to some arcane thing. Zuko wanted to know what it was.

“Well thanks for your attendance,” his friend said. “I’m here to relieve you, though.”

For that moment, Zuko opted out of speaking. He made the decision to go to Mai, and Sokka had even offered an opening to. This disinclination was not part of the plan.

“You don’t have to do that.” Zuko detested how easy it was to place Katara above everything else. “I have no other prior engagements, so I could keep watch over Katara for you.” He was not one to recoil in the face of something he wanted.

Sokka’s blue orbs were scanning Zuko’s face. “I wouldn’t think sitting with my bedridden and possibly-sleeping sister would be that fun.”

Zuko tossed the stare right back. “I’m just trying to give you a break.” He was thoroughly annoyed at the longevity of this conversation, and it showed.

“Well thanks, Zuko,” Sokka said, patting his back in appreciation. ”If you’re sure, I guess… I’ll leave you to it?”

“I am sure.” Zuko’s eyes had already settled on the cracked door of Katara’s bedchamber. He waved only as an afterthought.

“See you.”

\--

With the setting sun came a marked decline of light in the bedchamber suite, as well as one in temperature. Zuko had thought keeping the window open might be conducive to mitigate Katara’s illness, so that was what he did. He’d just have to suffer through the tenacious eventide chill.

One glance toward the side, where Katara lay sleeping in her bed, was more than enough to invigorate him again. It was odd that he so _readily_ would set aside the right thing to spend time with her, and she wasn’t even conscious. Though perhaps being close to Katara was more right tian previously credited.

Perhaps that fanciful thought had merit. Zuko couldn’t say if it did, but it would indeed shed light on why he always felt… drawn to her. Even when Katara hated him, he relished every interaction.

There was a lounge area in the center of Katara’s bedchamber. The space was nothing too severe; It consisted of a sofa and one wooden table with chairs tucked underneath. Zuko sat at the latter. In front of him were documents that had yet to be filled out. As Fire Lord, his duties felt unending.

He propelled just the wisp of a flame from his fingertip so he could light the candle that was also on the tabletop. Its holder was ornate and coated entirely with gold.

“Hey, Zuko,” a croaky voice breathed in acknowledgment.

Sensing the additional presence, Zuko quickly looked up. He found comfort in its familiarity. Kqtara was the one there, and she was swathed warmly in a blanket. The sight put a smile on Zuko’s face.

“You look and sound terrible,” he greeted. Two gold eyes closely examined her appearance.

Offended by his bluntness, Katara dropped down into the chair across from him. “It’s good to see you too.” She pushed back her hair so it was no longer close to the candle and in danger of catching fire.

“It’s good to see you, Katara.” Zuko’s chuckle was a guttural sound. “But… why are you not in bed?” He was honestly torn between wanting her here and doing what was best for her.

“I just wanted so badly to be here with you, Zuko,” Katara deadpanned. It took longer than Zuko would’ve liked to spot the jest there. “No but seriously,” Katara claimed the firebender’s attention by looking into his eyes. “you can’t really think lying around all day is good.”

Zuko followed candlelight as it danced in those big eyes. “You’re _sick_ , Katara. This is the only acceptable circumstance.”

Katara said naught because she had to cover her mouth when she started to cough.

“My point exactly.”

Katara finally finished coughing and brought her palm back down. “Don’t be smug.” She glared at the one sitting across from her.

Zuko feigned offense. “I promise I wasn’t.” He stole one glimpse at the tray that contained an untouched meal intended for Katara.

“You haven’t eaten today, have you?”

Looking a little tremulous, Katara raked teeth along her lip. “I… haven’t had much of an apetite,” she confessed. “I bet it’s because of this sickness.”

Zuko assented to the plausibility of that by nodding. “But how about now? You think you could manage food?” He was not fond of the idea of her going a day without sustenance. The tray was slid forward until it was in front of her completely.

“Um, what is this?” Katara asked, curiously peeking at the tray. It was gold-colored like the candlestick and Zuko’s eyes.

A larger and more calloused hand removed the metal covering that had shielded the meal from her. “Komodo-chicken soup and mint tea with honey in it,” Zuko apprised in his rough voice. “This was my mother’s remedy for specifically this type of sickness.”

Hearing that caused a smile to break onto Katara’s lips. She glanced at her tray, then looked back at the older bender.

Zuko immediately grew suspicious. “What?”

But Katara just continued to smile. She collected two metal chopsticks and began eating her food. It would’ve required less effort if not for the frailty of her fingers. 

“I was just thinking about the first time you mentioned your mother,” the waterbender responded.

“Oh,” Zuko said, abashed. He moved the stack of documents aside and rested an elbow on the table. His chin laid against the heel of his palm. “Back in Ba Sing Se, when you’d offered to heal my scar.” The memory was a stirring one.

“But we were interrupted before I could,” Katara recounted. She got somewhat of a faraway look about her.

“I’m glad for that.”

“What, for the interruption?” Zuko felt several emotions swarming around inside of him. “Yeah, Aang needed that spirit-water more.”

“No, Zuko…” Katara bore cerulean eyes into him. This somehow felt intimate with the candle serving as the only light-source. “Your scar… It’s kind of your defining characteristic. I don’t think I’d even recognize you without it,” Katara told him, laughing slightly. “It represents everything you’ve endured over the years. How _strong_ you are.” Her eyes were as steady as they could be given her condition.

“And besides, it looks edgy.”

It ended on a smile. Zuko wore one as well, yet it wasn’t even a contender when placed against the sheer _radiance_ of her own.

“My only facial imperfection,” Zuko joked, one palm resting over the waxy and discolored flesh marring the left side of his face, “and you think it looks cool.”

Katara’s eyes had raised to his scar. Her smile prevailed, though Zuko saw that she seemed to be contemplating something.

“It’s no imperfection, Zuko,” she said, wanting to uplift him. “If anything, it makes you seem pretty intimidating.” Katara sipped her mint tea and Zuko was pleased to see this intake of nourishment.

“I suppose I should thank my father for his cruelty then,” Zuko said. The words had a sardonic quality to them.

“I never said _that_.” Katara held his eyes for a wordless moment. “I just mean… you made the best out of a bad situation.”

Zuko’s jaw was still leant against his palm. “I’m good at that.” He sounded assured. “Remember you used to hate me, and now we’re friends,” he said, honestly impressed with himself for all he’d achieved.

“That is quintessentially making the best of a bad situation.”

At that, Katara’s smile turned diffident. “Zuko,” She cleared her throat. “I… hated you because I _didn’t_ hate you, you know…” She looked off to the side. It was too dark to judge if that truly was a blush on her cheeks or if he’d imagined it.

“I thought we connected in Ba Sing Se, but then you—”

“I know,” Zuko interrupted gruffly. He could do without a rehashing. “I’m more sorry for that than I can say.” Right then, he couldn’t locate any will to meet her eyes. “For hurting you, and Uncle, and everyone else…”

Katara breathed in, then released an exhale. “Look at me, please.” It was just a soft demand, but then Zuko defiantly didn’t do that, and Katara’s voice cut the air.

 _“Zuko,”_ she said trenchantly.

A fraction of a second later, he heeded that daunting request and did manage tp bring his eyes to hers. It was like the embodiment of the sun and moon coming together.

“I… I know you’re sorry,” Katara said slowly. “And know I forgive you.”

Zuko did know; He had since their return from Whaletail Island. But the verbal proclamation was still enough to move him.

Katara was staring at him in the low light the candle provided. She smiled small and uttered, “For everything.”

A second passed wherein neither of them spoke. Zuko was positively _bereft_ of anything to say, and that addled him. He knew that _something_ had to repair this lapse of silence.

“Okay…” Katara relented after a short while. For the most part, her tray had been cleaned, so Zuko ought to be satisfied. “I feel a bit faint now. I guess that’s my body saying it’s time to get in bed.”

“Faint?” A frown overtook the entirety of Zuko’s features. “It seems your body and I have aligned wants.”

Katara sucked in the last-remaining swallow of her tea. “Seems that way,” she echoed. For a second, it appearet she was thinking about something.

“So then, I take it you’re ready for bed?”

“Mm’hm.” Katara nodded, though she was loath to even enact her agreeance. When she rose from the table, she kept herself enwrapped within the blanket.

Zuko got up as well after blowing out the candle. Now all they had was the starlight from the window. “You sure you’re alright?” He posed the question while giving her a not-so-cursory onceover. 

“If I say ‘no’, will you carry me to bed?” Katara retorted, the words teeming with sarcasm.

Zuko chuckled. “It’s possible.” He didn’t know if Katara’s blush was due to embarrassment, or if something more _clandestine_ had triggered it.

“Don’t even try it,” Katara sajd assertively. “Both my legs are functional.”

Nothing in Zuko’s demeanor showed his care for Katara wavering. “But you said you feel faint. I’m not a negligent friend, Katara.” He came up beside her when she started to take steps toward her bed.

“I know you’re not,” Katara said. It seemed she understood that fully. “Fire is… the natural opposite of water, yet I doubt anyone could predict _this_ outcome.” Ocean-blue eyes looked up at him.

“Who would’ve thought we’d fit so well?” Katara mused, smiling at her own words. “Now we’re such good friends…”

“It is pretty incredible to consider,” Zuko agreed, contented. It surpassed what his imagination had conjured up, that was for certain. “Opposites tend to attract.”

Katara kept her eyes on him as she clambered into her bed. “That they do,” she said, and he felt the meaning behind it.

\--

“Zuko!”

The shrill exclamation pervaded the Fire Lord’s eardrums. He observed the agile, brown-haired girl that was bounding in his direction. Her winsome features put forth a smile that easily denoted how _happy_ she was to see him.

“Hello, Ty Lee,” Zuko said, greeting the Kyoshi Warrior with a phlegmatic half-smile. It would be remiss to say she had only been his sister’s friend, but in no way was she Zuko’s favorite person.

“It feels like it’s been fo _rever_ since we’ve seen each other!’ Ty Lee wanted no time in pulling him into a hug. The light of a forenoon sun poured in from the windows in this lengthy corridor.

“I promise it hasn’t been,” Zuko countered. He squeezed her once before pulling himself away. Ty Lee also dropped her arms.

“You came to my coronation, which was hardly forever ago.”

“I said that is what it _feels_ like.” She smiled, cornering Zuko with eye-contact alone. “So how are you now that you’re the Fire Lord?”

He looked back at her. “I’m still getting used to it.” There wasn’t a point in being dishonest since, contrary to what an angrier Zuko may’ve spurted during their beach trip, Ty Lee knew him.

Just like that person whose bedchamber was just an arm-span from where he was in the mansion he’d visited many times before this.

“Can we do this some other time?” Heedlessly, Zuko intruded on what Ty Lee was in the midst of saying. His gold eyes darted toward Mai’s bedchanber. “I have business to attend to.”

The acrobat’s painted lips fell into a smirk. “Business, huh?” She lightly jabbed Zuko in the arm. “Well who am I to stand in the way of that?” The question obviously called for no answer.

“It just so happens I have my own… _business_ to attend to. Risa and I have plans to go out today, but I wanted to see Mai first.”

Zuko remembered that Ty Lee had been skittering _away_ from Mai’s chamber when he’d seen her. That was fortunate. He didn’t feel like sharing her company.

“Have fun,” Zuko said with a noncommittal smile.

“I’ll be sure to.” Ty Lee also smiled, although hers was far airier. “You do that too, okay? Mai told me she really misses you.”

“I miss her too.” Zuko said it without delay. He had seen her only once in the last two weeks, when they’d went on that date the day directly after Aang and Toph departed for the Earth Kingdom. Zuko remembered being _distracted_ during the date. It wasn’t only because he’d been stressing over the indefinite absence of his friends, either.

The night before Zuko met with Mai, _Katara_ appeared at his door, teary-eyed and claiming to need a friend because Sokka and Suki were both nowhere to be found. Zuko let her in, knowing full-well why she’d been crying.

They’d sat together on his bed and Katara proceeded to _sob_ over their shared loss. Zuko hugged her through it. He kept silent while the heartsick waterbender cried into the solidity of Zuko’s chest.

Zuko had been comforting a friend. The titillating way Katara elt in his arms was irrelevant.

After that, they began to see each other everyday. _Fourteen_ days, to be precise. A daily-dose of Katara was how Zuko had started to ascertain the actual enormity of how he felt for her. He wouldn’t allow himself to be around _his girlfriend_ while his heart longed for someone else.

“Then get over there.” Ty Lee talking at him was what tore Zuko out of his reverie. She was steering her fellow Fire Nation native toward Mai’s bedchamber. Hs should’ve been excited, but in truth it felt like he was about head to his execution. Hs knew that was what would occur if Mai somehow were to find out about his emotional affair.

Zuko swallowed thickly as his eyes for a moment landed on Ty Lee. “If you insist,” he said, hoping she realized it was his way of bidding her farewell.

Reluctant steps transported Zuko that short distance to Mai’s bedchamber. He knocked twice on tbe door, trepidation rushing in when, after some seconds, it opened.

“Zuko…” Thunderstruck, Mai exhaled the two syllables of his name. “You’re here.”

He could barely even say anything before he felt fingers at his nape. Mai came closer and then their lips were pressed together. He knew his lack of responding movement would reveal that something was amiss.

Mai pulled back a little. “What is it?” Her breath fanned over Zuko’s mouth.

“Mai,” he said, looking over her as he shut the door behind himself. “I didn’t come here just for… that.”

Mai gave her boyfriend a look that evoked quite a bit of guilt.

“We haven’t seen each other in _weeks,_ Zuko,” she said. “Sorry for thinking we’d be on the same page about what we want.” Her hand lowered from his neck.

“I’m sorry too.” Zuko stared into hazel-brown eyes. She couldn’t fathom how intensely he meant that. “But there’s… something I need to tell you,.” Apparently an outside force had decided that Zuko was ready for this.


	4. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the rating to explicit. at first i was hella wary because it'd been literally YEAR since i have written that kind of content for an f/m shio, but recently my confidence has been renewed. :)

“You didn’t hear any part of what I just said, did you?”

Katara looked over, captured by the expectant (and slightly vexed) gaze that had affixed itself to hers. Four blue eyes met beneath the glare of afternoon sunlight.

“I…” There were no believable lies currently in Katara’s arsenal. “Sorry, Suki. Really, I am.” She gave her an apologetic head-tilt and turned to the path ahead of them. For the day, Katara and Suki were spending time together in Capital City, beyond the walls of the royal palace.

“There’s a lot weighing my mind down right now, so it’s hard to be all the way _there._ ”

Suki folded two arms over her chest and pondered that. As a woman who hailed from the Earth Kingdom, she was resilient and quite forthcoming, but her kind heart shone through.

“What’s weighing your mind down?” Suki inquired, her eyes never egressing from Katara. Her tone noticeably softened.

Katara wouldn’t play coy. She knew saying that was bound to result in her being questioned. It was just no easy matter to discuss.

“I’m… worried about Aang,” Katara confessed. She drew in a breath to steady herself. Still, no messenger-hawk had come to the palace with information of her boyfriend’s whereabouts. Katara would commend herself for keeping it together _this_ much.

“And I’m worried about Zuko.” There was a physical reaction just from uttering the Fire Lord’s name. Her voice lowered to scarcely more than a whisper when she said, “In equal measures.”

Suki delivered a conciliatory grip to Katara’s arm. “You’re not the only one who’s worried,” she said. “Believe me. Earlier today, I went with Sokka to try and visit Zuko in his quarters, but we were told he’s not really… seeing anyone.”

Katara’s frown was deep. For days now, Zuko had shut himself away in his quarters for reasons that were unknown to everyone. His advisors had been holding court in his stead. It was detrimental to Katara’s mental-health to be kept in the dark as to what was even wrong with him. 

She couldn’t properly _be there_ for Zuko while he was this averse to interacting with others. In tandem with her concerns over Aang, Katara was sure she would lose it.

“I kinda figured _you’d_ be the one to get through to him in the end,” Suki remarked. Katara saw the knowing look in her eyes and she grew self-conscious.

“Why me?”

“Oh, don’t tell me you don’t see it.” The knowing look persisted on Suki’s face. “I’d say Zuko has… quite the soft spot for you, Katara.”

That caused Katara to pause. She looked in front of them again, observing the confectionary that they were coming nearer to during their jaunt through the Fire Nation city. It was imperative that she keep herself grounded.

“A soft spot you say…” Katara bit her lip, pensive. She was not oblivious, and she couldn’t rightfully say the affinity did not exist, or that it was one-sided. It was just too _palpable._

“He obviously enjoys being around you,” Suki stated, espying the candy shop as her companion had. “Not gonna lie, I think he may have a thing for you.”

Hearing that, Katara ceased all that she was doing, her walking included. Her thoughts lapsed into one tempestuous mess. She was rendered speechless, unable to do naught but stare, brooding, at the ground.

“Now you’re just talking crazy.” Katara tried to play off the sheer _enormity_ of Suki’s conjecture, but she felt her cheeks pinkening against her will. This would give away more than she was ready for.

“Zuko is my _friend.”_

“He can be your friend and still like you.”

In truth, this wasn’t an idea Katara had never entertained. Zuko liking her did have potential. Those intense, lingering looks he gave her had to amount to something.

“However he feels about me is… ultimately not important,” Katara said, her tone clipped. The authenticity of her declaration wasn’t all that certain though. “Aang is my boyfriend. That’s all that matters.”

If that was really the case, why couldn’t she put an end to the thoughts of Zuko? They had commandeered her brain and were in no hurry to leave. Maddeningly handsome Zuko with those smoldering yellow eyes, coupled with all the emotions that would arise each time he did basically _anything_ that was aimed at her.

_‘Tui and La, please help me.’_

Katara honestly fel hopeless. The cognitive dissonance that plagued her enlarged. Zuko might be harboring romantic feelings for her, as per what Suki had construed. Katara would like to say she was the first to voice the possibility, but it had happened before.

It was when they’d all been residing at Zuko’s family’s estate on Ember Island. One night, Aang asked her point blank if anything was going on between her and Zuko. Katara was quick and adamant in her denial because, officially, there was not.

“I’m… craving something sweet.” Katara said this with the purpose of redirecting her thoughts to the present moment. The older female was still close at her side. “Fire gummies, to be exact.”

Incredulous, Suki turned to look at her. Katara had anticipated that the Kyoshi Warrior would call her on the disingenuous attempt to change the subject. It confounded her that she didn’t.

“If you say so, Katara,” Suki relented, sparing a momentary smile. “To be honest, I too want a sweet.”

Katara was grateful. The conversation seemed to be detaching from its earlier, more anxiety-inducing topic. Whatever Zuko felt for her (and what she surely felt for him) was befuddling enough _without_ it being spoken about aloud.

“Hey, let’s get something for Sokka.” Suki’s smile broadened at the mention of her boyfriend.

“Mm, and Zuko might like some candy too,” Katara said, piping up her tone. Until she received word from Aang, Zuko’s wellbeing was all she could actually do anything about. She would just have to prioritize him. Hopefully, that would succeed in keepibg her mind off the fact that she’d not talked with her boyfriend in weeks.

\--

Fire Lord Zuko raised a fist, pressing three firm knocks against the door his feet had transported him to. It was not a coincidence that he ended up in the guest quarters of his palace; Zuko had been fully cognizant during this pursuit of solace. There was someone specific he meant to see.

After a while, the door opened and Zuko was granted view of the slim youth on the other side. Sokka appeared disheveled and not wholly present, like he had been disturbed from sleep prematurely.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Zuko looked over his friend with an amicable twinkle in his eye. In spite of everything, Sokka’s being there made him quite content.

“Zuko, my man!” he was nothing if not excitable. “Good to see you in the land of the living.” He half-grinned, half-smiled as he clapped the firebender on the shoulder.

“And you did, but I won’t hold it against you. You’re the _Fire Lord_ , after all.”

Zuko accepted the effortless compliance and released a chuckle. “As Fire Lord, I hereby order you to let me in right this moment.” The words were domineering, yet they bore a playful undertone. “There’s something important we need to talk about, Sokka.”

“Important?” Sokka thought on that for a bit. “Well damn, now I’m intrigued.” Lips still upturned, Sokka pushed the door of his bedchamber open wider to beckon the other male. “Come into my office.”

Zuko did just that. The spacious chamber had a layout comparable to the others in this part of his palace— consisting of one large bed, a table-and-chairs set and a sofa that was beneath the window. After Katara’s, this was the chamber Zuko spent the majority of his free-time in.

He crossed the planks of wood that were underfoot and made a saunter toward the sofa. it was shaded deep crimson like his bedding, and copious other objects in the suite. Zuko sat atop it.

“So what is it that we’re supposed to be talking about?” Sokka asked. He followed Zuko’s lead and perched on one of the sofa’s velvet cushions as well. “I’m gonna assume it’s got something to do with whatever turned you into a recluse.”

Feeling a pang of upset, Zuko chose to respond solely by nodding. He knew nothing productive would come of deceiving Sokka with a lie. “…I ended things with Mai.” Zuko’s eyes plastered onto the thighs of his trousers. It was the first time he had verbalized that truth.

By nature, Sokka was not a serious guy, though he’d sober himself if such was necessitated by the situation. “What? Why?” His mouth was agape as he asked this.

Zuko inhaled and roughly said, “We both agreed it was the best thing to do since I, well…” He halted what he was fixing to say there, beginning again once he’d taken a beat to regain his composure.

“I have feelings for someone else, which Mai couldn’t tolerate.” Zuko’s dull tone of voice starkly betrayed the weight of that.

It was almost comical the way Sokka was _gawking_ at him. There was nothing to doubt when it came to the extent of his astonishment.

“You… like someone?” Sokka was speaking carefully. “How did I not know this?”

Zuko emitted a low sigh. _‘Because it’s your sister and she’s in a relationship with the kid who’s, for all intents and purposes, your brother.’_ Saying what was on his mind would be unwise.

“It’s not the most upstanding thing, Sokka,” Zuko said instead. His voice was completely flatlined. Mai didn’t deserve this, and neither did Aang.

“Liking someone when you already have a girlfriend… That’s shameful.” It didn’t take much for Zuko to be sent into self-loathing again.

Sokka surprised him when nothing in his tone was derisive. “But it’s also not something you can control. You can’t tell your heart who to feel for. Believe me,, I’m pretty familiar with liking someone when you shouldn’t.”

Sokka closed his eyes and a somewhat saddened sigh heaved from him. Presumably, the reference was to that princess from the North Pole who’d sacrificed herself for the moon spirit.

“So who’s this person you broke up with Mai over?” Sokka opened his eyes after the mere fraction of a second. “I’ll wager that she means a lot to you.”

 _‘If only you knew.’_ Zuko continued to look downward. He opted for a dishonest approach when he mumbled that her name was Jin.

Jin was the girl from Ba Sing Se that he’d gone out with a few times. In no way was Zuko beholden to her, but it made sense to use her name. Sokka would indubitably advocate for his sister being with Aang if he knew what actually was in Zuko’s heart.

“She’s from Ba Sing Se, so our main basis for communication is messenger-hawk,” Zuko intoned. He would rather not make eye-contact while he furthered the reprehensible tale.

“Luckily, Ba Sing Se isn’t too far from here.” Sokka’s comment breached Zuko’s mind. “If you really do like her, you should _go for it_ , man. Girls swoon for grand gestures.”

Zuko typically was an “act first, think later” kind of person, though now he had misgivings.

“I don’t think there is room for a grand gesture, Sokka,” the Fire Lord said around a callous grunt. He could feel cerulean eyes burning into the side of his head.

“Why not?”

There was a split-second wherein Zuko nearly botched this whole thing up, mistakenly using Katara’s name. But he caught himself the instant before he could. Somehow.

 _“_ Jin has a boyfriend,” he said.

Sokka was uncharacteristically without any words. After a ruminative moment, he urged Zuko to look at him once again. The firebender took note of the intent that was in his countenance.

“Oh, well that definitely poses a problem.” Sokka mused over it. He seemed to sympathize with the storm Zuko was currently weathering. “Princess Yue… Y’know she was _betrothed_ while we had our fling, so I understand how you feel.”

To that, Zuko displayed a tight-lipped nod of consideration. He _did_ know; Sokka had detailed what had transpired between him and the technically-deceased princess before, but even the common ground they might’ve shared was ineffective at alleviating Zuko’s plight.

Then, that silence was cloven by Sokka when he resumed speaking. “Here’s my advice for you,” he offered to a ready and visibly impatient Fire Lord. 

”I think you should… try and be friends first. See what comes of it. And if she’s unwilling, you can always play the ‘I’m the Fire Lord’ card.” He laughed, finding his own words supremely humorous.

Sokka was wont to adorn the things he said with jokes. This deliverance of advice was npt exempt. Even so, Zuko would admit most of it was indeed capable of having effect,

“That’d be a sensible way to go about it.” His eyes tacked to a dark-skinned face. Zuko had to force himself _not_ to dwell on just how deplorable it was that he was seeking guidance on how to go after The Avatar’s Girlfriend.

“I know,” Sokka said, clearly requiring no confirmation that what he said was right. The confidence in it was quite flagrant. “But I am admittedly worried. Zuko, you and I both know you’ve never been one to give up when it’s something you want.”

Zuko exhaled. It was true that be was not. _Indefatigable_ was a suitable term to describe tge way he was.

“And you _want_ Jim, don’t you?”

Zuko nodded without thinking about it. Of course, he very much wanted the waterbender whose identity was obscured behind the pretense of Jin.

“Is that not why we’re having this talk?” An annoyed Zuko looked directly into Sokka’s eyes. “Yes, I want someone I know I shouldn’t. I have for a while now.”

His mind’s eye must’ve been partial to showing imagery of Katara. There were no complaints to be had. The Water Tribe girl was always a welcomed sight. She was all-around exquisite, and Zuko was just thoroughly _besotted_ with her.

“I only meant—” Sokka started again after he shifted his stance on the sofa. “I have a feeling being ‘just friends’ isn’t part of the ‘Zuko liking someone’ handbook.” Ever the realist, Sokka never dawdled when it related to the truth. Zuko would also call himself a realist, though his uncle would say it was just pessimism.

“You forget, I was friends with Mai for _years_ before we got together,” he argued. Even someone blind would’ve been able to percieve that they liked each other though. “I think I can do it.”

Again, Zuko sighed, the sound of it almost completely mute. He understood that the question wasn’t whether he could do it. It was if he _would._ Zuko did care about Aang quite immensely, but, more than that, he cared about his own needs being satiated. As Sokka earlier said, it was worrisome.

\--

Katara couldn’t put a name to this _surfeit_ of emotion. The thing most identifiable to her was that they were ambivalent, yet far too convoluted for her, or even an erudite individual to interpret. Orbs of blue stared at her bed’s canopy, fingers fisting the topmost sheet as she grew more and more frustrated with the muddled state her brain was in.

It was no surprise that sleep refused to come. The mental quandary was just too astringent, and besides that, Katara bore a propensity for being awake at the later hours of night. Surely, at another time, the reminder that Zuko was subject to be nocturnal alongside her would’ve made Katara smile, but now there was only disquietude.

It was futile to continue to lie down. For the foreseeable future, at least, Katara knew she wouldn’t be allowed to sleep. She relinquished seizure of her bedsheet and, with a sigh, moved herself to an upright sitting position. The attempts made to soothe her mind were equally as futile. Katara stared morosely at the wall.

There was something in particular that she was unable to deter the thoughts of. After the conclusion of her outing with Suki that evening, the pair retired to the guest quarters’ lounge, immediately discovering Sokka already there. He had his face intensively buried in a tome with a candle flickering beside him. Upon noticing the addition of company, Sokka greeted Katara and Suki with exuberant amicability.

The three fell into easy confabulation thereafter. Katara remembered her brother telling them of the events of his day, namely that their elusive Fire Lord friend had come to see him. Katara had done poorly at containing how _elated_ that made her, but she didn’t care.

For the most part, it seemed Zuko was alright. That deserved to be rejoiced over. 

But her glee was only a short-lived feeling. It left as quickly as it’d come, replaced instead by an all-consuming sense of dread.

Allegedly, Zuko had broken up with Mai. Suki wasted no time in asking why, though Katara couldn’t find her words. She vacillated between being delighted that, finally, Zuko wasn’t tethered to the girl Katara still viewed as an enemy, and being sad for him. Katara knew he was hurting. It was beyond her that Zuko had decidedly _not_ gone to her for the comfort she was wholly prepared to give.

This was one of the reasons her mind was undergoing such turbulence. It bothered her that Zuko had shut her out. She shouldn’t have to hear of how he was faring from _someone else_. They were supposed to be close enough that he’d want to confide in her.

And who was this “Jin” person, anyway?

Sokka said she was an old flame from the time Zuko had spent living undercover in the Earth Kingdom. The way he spoke about _this person_ hardly made her sound old, though. Jin and Zuko were still in contact, and his feelings for her were so _incurable_ that they’d been what had driven him from Mai, according to Sokka.

Katara had been nonplussed when the information reached her— at an utter loss for a reaction. Zuko severing his ties with Mai might’ve had more impact if it wasn’t fastened to something that also troubled her. This knowledge that Zuko _liked someone_ was as onerous as it was abiding.

Beneath a guise of tiredness, Katara swiftly excused herself to her bedchamber. Perhaps it wasn’t an all the way guise, though. She was weary, it had just been generated by something different.

Katara didn’t have to think too hard to ascertain the summation of what she was feeling. It was quite clear. Zuko ending his relationship with Mai, her _needing_ to console him and this… thing he had with Jin— each swarmed through her at a constant, and pointed in a single direction. With a shaky breath, Katara realized _Zuko_ was the predominant thing on her mind.

She was unsure of how she ought to even feel about that. Katara sighed again and pulled her bent knees closer, the fibers of her night-dress brushing up against thinly-muscled thighs. Yes, she had advised herself to prioritize Zuko, she just hadn’t predicted she’d be so thoroughly _engulfed_. Her mind was so engaged, in fact, that the knocks on her bedchamber door were nearly mute to her. But she heard them.

Her window showed no sun, which aptly denoted nightfall. She sat up straighter in bed as quite a bit of excitement trickled in. Katara had a strong inkling of who the yet unseen person on the other side of her door was. With haste, she crawled from her bed and skittered over to her door. A welcoming aura surrounded her when she opened it.

“Oh, Zuko…” Katara said his name, blinking with diffidence. The moment could be likened to when Katara had collided with Zuko in the corridor that housed his array of chambers. That was also the evening in which Katara had seen Mai for the first time since the end of the Hundred-Year War. The memory of her going to wait for Zuko in his bedchamber was vivid.

“Hello, Katara.” It did something to her to hear his voice after enduring those days of being robbed of it. “You weren’t getting ready for bed, were you?” It was redundant to ask; Zuko had to know she wasn’t.

Katara stepped closer and her hand fell away from the door. “No, I— It’s not that late.”

Zuko sent a peripheral glance to the window. “No, I suppose it isn’t.” He looked back at her and bowed his head forward. “Still, I’m sorry if I disturbed you.”

“You didn’t,” Katara reassured him all too quickly. “I’m honestly really happy that you’re okay. At least in the physical sense.” She leant herself against the doorframe, feeling self-conscious. It was not discreet the way Zuko began to eye-up her form.

The dress Katara wore was meant to be slept in. Its hem dropped to a centimeter or so above her knees, the linen clinging to her snugly. It was weird because Katara definitely was not wearing anything underneath the thin, salt-colored dress, but she knew Zuko was too morally-sound to comment on it.

 _‘But he_ is _a teenager,’_ Katara forced herself to remember. Somehow, she kept her blush at bay. _‘Teenagers are hormonal.’_ She also fell under that category.

Katara raised her fingers, swiping at brunette curls so they no longer hindered her vision. She wasn’t the only one whose hair was devoid of its usual daytime coiffure.

“I don’t think it’s fair.” Katara reclaimed Zuko’s attention when she spoke again. “For two weeks, you got me all used to seeing you everyday only to suddenly _disappear.”_ Her disposition easily evinced just how _peeved_ she’d become.

“I didn’t expect you to care so much,” Zuko said. To his credit, it seemed his surprise was not fabricated. “I wasn’t even gone for a week, Katara…”

But Katara didn’t relax her shoulders and she only grew more irate. “Of course I care,” she hotly proclaimed. “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. Two hours or two days… As your friend, I’m allowed to want to be there through all of it.” She looked directly into his leonine eyes. “Aren’t I?”

It was obvious to the both of them that her question called for no true affirmation. Even so, Zuko siill nodded, his fingers brushing away a black fringe. “Yes, you are allowed,” he gave. “Just like _I’m_ allowed to take time for myself.”

Something in the phrasing was received as condescending, and Katara misliked it. “You don’t have to talk to me like I don’t understand,’ she snapped, looking at him unkindly.

It was curious that the normally ill-tempered Fire Lord was retaining calmness, while Katara was so clearly incensed. One would think the tables would be switched.

“That wasn’t my intention. I—” His tone was gentler now. Katara was reluctant to admit how much it disarmed her. “I have a lot on my mind, as I have for days. It’s tedious, Katara.”

Zuko really was proficient at evoking emotion. The way he looked at her… Katara was honestly overcome with the need to pull him close. She doubted she had it in her to let go if she did.

“Right now, I do need my friend, but I also needed to be alone for a while.” He looked down at her and said in a lower decibel, “I’m sorry.”

Katara only need return his gaze to feel that Zuko sincerely was contrite. “I forgive you,” she said. There was more than an ounce of warmth in that. Unable to resist the temptation, Katara enacted what her heart was _screaming_ and her slid her arms upward, wrapping them around his broader shoulders and embracing Zuko with a vicelike grip.

“You said you needed me, so... I’m _here,_ Zuko,” she said into the hold. His scent had assailed her nostrils, though she would be lying to call it noisome. “Just don’t shut me out again.”

In turn, Zuko hugged her back by letting his own arms encircle Katara’s waist. She tried not to pay mind to the extremely provocative sensation of her scantily-clad breasts pressing _flush_ against Zuko, but it was hard to ignore.

“Believe me when I say I never meant to shut you out.” Zuko said in a solemn voice. He squeezed onto the body in his arms once before he let her go. Katara meanwhile may’ve held onto him longer than was needed. 

“I know it was only for a few days but I missed you.” Zuko looked at Katara through dark eyelashes. She noted how bashful he was when the words tumbled out.

Smiling shyly, Katara leaned back against her bare heels. “I missed you too.” In truth, it was abnormal how much she did. Her arms crossed neatly over her chest and, with sudden animosity swimming in her eyes, Katara turned a gaze on the taller firebender.

“It’s your fault for leaving,”

The accusation compelled Zuko to once more bow his head. “I truly am sorry,” he said. “From now on, I suppose I’ll try not to take time to heal my wounds. Since it obviously upsets you so much.” It was unclear whether he spoke with true deference or sarcasm, but Katara had a feeling it was the latter.

“Spirits-of-the-Ocean, Zuko.” She blew out an exasperated sigh. “You just said you missed me like five seconds ago. Make up your mind, are you mad at me or aren’t you?”

Zuko blinked. “I’m not mad at you.” He seemed not to grasp why Katara had reached that conclusion. “What even made you make that presumption?”

There was a definite fracture in Katara’s fortitude then. “I…” She bit into her bottom lip. “It just seemed like you were.” 

“Well I’m not,” Zuko asserted. Katara trusted that it was the truth. “I’d have to be an imbecile to waste our first interaction in _days_ feeling like that.”

“You’re right. It would be pretty dumb,” Katara acknowledged. ;She smiled because, really, warding off the expression was needless. “I know you must wanna come inside now, right? You still haven’t told me what’s been keeping you away.”

“Sokka didn’t already tell you?” asked Zuko, settling a pointed look on a dark-skinned face. in that regard, he seemed to be convinced.

A brief moment went by before Katara had placed her eyes onto gold ones. “Whatever he said, I’d rather hear it from the source.” Perhaps that whole thing with Jin was misinformation. It didn’t sit well with her— that Zuko was having all these illicit dalliances and no one had even known.

_‘Secrets are supposed to be basically nonexistent between friends.’_

Katara was admittedly perturbed, though it wasn’t just due to Zuko keeping this from her. There was another, less seemly reason that she was very opposed to bringing to light.

“I have to decline your offer,” Zuko said, holding Katara captive with how he was looking at her. “I’m bored of spending all my time confined to this palace. I don’t feel it’s good for me to continue to be indoors.”

“Okay.” Katara breathed in sharply. She was confused, but also piqued by what was said. “Then… why are you here?”

“You’re usually quicker on the uptake.” Zuko grew bashful yet again. “I’m here to see you, and also ‘cause I wanted to propose you come out with me and take a walk or something.” He said it in a rush.

Katara touched her bosom in a jocular manner. “How lucky I am that Fire Lord Zuko wants to go on a walk with me,” she gasped it out, a grin breaking onto her features.

“Is that your way of giving consent?” Zuko asked. His impatience was unmissable.

Katara nodded her head. She took a step backward so she stood deeper in her bedchamber. “Just… give me a second to slip into something a little less comfortable, alright?” Katara’s grin remained intact. She heard a soft chuckle when the door closed, allowing her the privacy necessary to change out of her sleepwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long." - Gravity by Sara Bardilles

**Author's Note:**

> So that was the pilot  
> chapter! I intended for one more scene to be added at the end there but it felt too long already so i’ll just save it for chapter 2 I s’pose???
> 
> Feedback (esp commentary) is always appreciated my dudes.  
> tysn for reading my first ever (and long overdue) atla fic. ive been a fan of this series since I was a fetus tbh


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